Cate68's Blog

by **Cate68** on Wed Nov 13, 2013 5:09 pm

I try to take each day like someone who is an alcoholic would, and I take sort of a semi "NAMI" view that I have an "ism" that must be managed. I realize who I am and I thank technology for that. Being me is pretty difficult, though there is enough support technology for my weak ego to function.

Obviously, there is a dualism here with the antispychiatric movement. Perhaps I am "half" anti psychiatric so that a balance is struck.

I think that the next step is further development of the self, even with the risk of dementia. I dont' think that I have a choice--it is adapt or die, pretty much.

Speaking of the dementia, I have stopped taking the rhisperdol. It helped me during my episodes that resulted from my periods. These past two periods, one on October 4th and then November 9-13, were like Niagara Falls and the Premenstrual Dysmorphic Disorder produced highly focused, very negative psychoses which were difficult to navigate.

But back to the dementia, I still have problems but I am calmer and I can think slighly clearer.

by **Cate68** on Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:41 pm

I'm remembering a tad bit better. I'm floaty and my moods go up and down like a yo yo.

Someone came into my office to talk about their borderline fiancee'. Ugh.

Gone to look at more pics of Peter Woodward.

by **Cate68** on Tue Nov 12, 2013 10:27 pm

Much much better day than most. Less afraid. The brain appears to be at least attempting to work. I might send over hubster to get my purse. I really really don't want to clean the nasty trailer. I'm just sick and I want a peaceful evening with my warm husband and my super intelligent sweet son.

If we have water, that will be truly awesome.

God, if austerity won't get rid of borderline, nothing will.

by **Cate68** on Tue Nov 12, 2013 4:25 pm

The self is the truck. The make and model of the truck is the basic personality, mental capacity, mental ability and physical make up of the truck.

We "shift" gears like we "shift" emotions. In each gear we are still the same "make and model" but we are at a different "speed" and a different "capacity."

The thing we must learn is to shift gears smoothly.

by **Cate68** on Tue Nov 12, 2013 2:21 pm

I keep having to sign in and I keep losing my entries.

I guess that I am not really supposed to say anything else today.

I feel slighly better now--slightly calmer.

I no longer try to understand my work situation or the people that I work with.

I honestly feel that people try to start mess and they try to make sure that the mess is carried on and on.

I am still feeling dizzy.

But anyway, I won't put anything else--I just like writing in my blog.

How does borderline evolve?

Floating

4:33

Truck Analogy

Third Blog entry

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