I remember how when I was little (and paid 0 attention whatsoever,let alone knew what that concept was and what the d---- it meant 2 other ppl),in grade 1 around the ned of the day we'd be told 2 practice writing out the letters of the alphabet.When we were done we were allowed 2 play with the loads of toys on the side shelves of the classrooms.It's something we did sometimes in the morning without the writing tasks.However when we did it in the evening (since I didn't know why we were doing those writing exercices at the time,nor felt the urge to do them that much) I would often by left eventually by myself thinking "why am I here?,why am I by myself but everyone else is playing with those toys?,why cant I join them?.".One of the origins of pondering nature I guess and something that still manifests itself but now it's in the form of me being perpetually stuck on an assignment while I look and see others in my class,laughing it up while I'm stuck there thinking "why is this happening to me?,what am I doing wrong,why dont I understand this?"Slightly more legitimate & relevant questions I suppose.

Life has got "clearer" as I've gotten older even though I'm not smarter