I admit I am afraid of many things.

I'm afraid that the stuff from last year is expected to be instinct for the second year and I'm going to get my backside handed to me b/c of that.

I'm afraid that, that'll be enough to drive me out. I'm afraid of being ignored by a former crush even though I can >_< =_= SSSOOO explain what went on back then.

I'm afraid that it'll be a friggin repeat of "Your weird. I'm going to ignore/avoid you",even though I'd only like to talk *with* her =_= .

I'm afraid of the workload. I'm afraid of the process of actually looking for a job.

I'm afraid of the courses related to looking for a job.

I'm afraid of not being able to pull off what is taught in class 'on my own' in the big wide work world.

I'm afraid of seeing ppl I don't like again.

I'm afraid I still don't have a good grasp of my own volition

I'm afraid of my brothering 'succeeding' at something like driving and hence making me feel even more like I was yet again 'surpassed' by a younger sibling, further highlighting what a developmental lag I am

I'm afraid of having to be socially active with my classmates to do/get thru schoolwork

I'm afraid that they'll mostly see me as a case of "when he asks, he wants something/is seeking to extract info", in yet another case where the pragmatism of having to 'network' to function by working w/others takes precedence over more authentic no pretext companionship. Such an aspect of me which I hate >_< =_=

I'm afraid of having my lie interfered with.

I'm afraid of not coming across work.

I'm afraid of not coming across work b/c I don't happen to have a trendy 'eportfolio' nicely set -up.

I'm afraid o *my* future frankly.

I'm afraid that something 'big' is going to happen b/c it seems like a 'real deal' functional ending to my schooling which'll entail a major confrontational engagement/struggle with reality. See, as much as I love info and knowledge, 'school' esp. in it's institutional form has been kind of a butt-pain and I've realized kind of recently how I've made my life a personal heck with the kind of angts,anxious approach I've had to it for a significant portion of my life.

And in a sense I'm afraid that 'the real terror' of what has been mainly generated in my mind as a personal heck were everything is difficult b/c nothing wants me to function is actually going to manifest itself "for realises" this time.

I'm afraid of becoming like other ppl who I don't like ,including like that brash-ish ex-crush, just b/c I use the same words like them.

I'm afraid of my sister leving for work,in a way.

I'm afraid of getting thru school for that dreary a--- season known as winter.

My 'crutches' are the soundtracks to "The legend of Aang" and "The legend of Korra" soundtracks from the "Avatar-verse".

I'm afraid of disappointing other ppl.

I'm afraid of disappointing my teachers.

I'm afraid of making my teachers angry.

I'm afraid of coming off as 'annoying' (just whatever the flop 'that' means =~= >~< )

I'm afraid of losing what ability I have

I'm afraid of inadvertently killing an animal

I'm afraid of being embarrassed

I'm afraid of running out of time

I'm afraid of being so critically slow for when it comes to the time it takes me to accomplish an apparently mundane task

I'm afraid to drive so lousy that bad stuff happens

I'm afraid of the poser math teacher still being there

I'm afraid of feeling that I have to remain 'low key' b/c I'm still not leading an 'acceptable' life of an adult

I'm afraid of ppl talking about 'deep' things but not being able to "jump into" the conversation b/c what little is known about me ,will detract from what input I'd like to say

I'm afraid of bad things happening while taking out our dog for a walk

I'm afraidof financies and learning about them when I can imagine a crowd of faces making fun of me for not knowing how to engage with them

I'm afraid of ending up my parent's 'personal labor' while my siblings live out a 'fuller' self-direction

I'm afraid of how even my younger cousins will 'exceed' me in developmental qualities soon enough

I'm afraid of being like my dad

I'm afraid of never finding respect and recognition in spite of doing and being everything which qaulifies for that

I'm afraid of my parents dying horribly

I'm afraid of the 'atmosphere' neighborhood-wise of the one during g.7-g.9-ish being the one I wind up in

I'm afraid that I'll mostly do thing b/c I'm like coerced to

<'_' While the style may irk some , I find it helpful>

I'm afraid of being like the poser math teacher

I'm afraid that while 'behaving organically' , I accidentlly do something with a major negative impact

I'm afraid to lead

I'm afraid to offend

I'm afraid of crass replies which I wouldn't be able to retort to well

I'm afraid of not having enough (info,ability?) to help someone when I'm not too 'far way' from being able to pull it off

I'm afraid of not being able to reply well

I'm afraid of incompetence

I'm afraid of not being listened to

I'm afraid of being ignored when I have something legitimately improtant to say

I'm afraid of socializing when I'm a talentless 'boring' shut-in who will be promptly demonized for that and I feel even more forced to pick up on the patterns of run-of-the-mill self-content neuronormatives

I'm afraid of the lack of things (aprticularly) fiction) which I've read

I'm afraid of my lack of achievement

I'm afraid of lying due to impercision

I'm afraid of my past

I'm afraid of my future

I'm afraid of being judged when I see that most of the time there isn't a good reason too but others do so unrelentingly anyhow

I'm afraid that bad things will happen to me when I do 'bad' even though I don't know what it was which was considered 'bad'

I'm afraid of being useless and..[disposed,ignored,replaced, fired, ridiculed etc,etc]

I hate the notion that I might only be 'getting along' with school now that it's my final year.