I'm starting to get this feeling that nobody *wants* to be around me and hence one reason I've always had a difficulty in making friends.
_____________

You know there's a certain element of "saying things out in public" on a blog,you know that?.

So many attractive ppl,so "alive" old and young at the Burlington music festival I went to yesterday. It's interesting how everyone seems attractive now. "Beautiful people" by Chris Brown comes to mind.

Not too many catchy songs which get at a broader sympathy aimed at human community other than solely romantic love. It'd be nice if the idea caught on.

I'm starting to realize how even w/ really inappropriate songs it might be that the instrumentals are the catchy part to me (ex."Black skinhead" by Kanye West and since I'm hearing it now "Bedrock" by Young Money).

<Whether I have trouble making a decision or even when sometimes I don't>

I like conversating w/others on a decision I might be making.

It might've grown out of how it was like that out of necessity when I was little but it still continues.

Referring to "teachers past": Does it ever occur to some ppl how it means a lot to them that they do well in a certain course b/c they have more hopeeful inclinations for "marrying their job" than "marrying another person"?.

Seeing this https://growwiseyoga.files.wordpress.com/2014/07/monkey-mirror-neurons.jpg simplified take on how the hypothetical mirror nuerons work: I must have "some" amount seeing as how I don't think I'd be a high functioning autistic if the lack was more considerable.

It gets to me though. This prioritization of body language which (apparently) by extensions interwines w/empathy--the times I have had infatuations; with the craving to understand and know someone else comes a spike in looking at them and in that focus looking at there body language.

=_= Oy. The lnegths it takes to get me to "act normal"
______________

Interesting how my brother's gf lives in either Stoney Creek or Ancaster and not Hamilton core. The relationship isn't "smooth" but it still fascinates me how they've clicked in spite of the geographic distance. And after meeting online. I mean the idea that someone would go half-way across a ("medium sized?") city to take chances w/forging emotional bonds with an initial stranger.. '_' it bewilders me.

To think that someone in an enviro class I took talked about a time when he was visting his gf while there was a strike of sanitation workers in *Toronto*.

._. Ugh, I *REALLY* doubt anyone would do that for me. This "romance" business seems so complicated.

I remember something my brother told me and something which a Youtuber recently brought up in a related way.

I have to talk to myself as if I were my own best friend.

The way pronouns like "those,them and their" have an undertone which can lead to divisiveness..it makes me weary of when and how the words are used.

And also "that" at time as well.