-I didn't have the timetable registration problem I thought I was going to have

-I got a free bus pass on my student ID just minutes after picking a new timetable right when I'm down to my last ticket and was thinking about having to buy new ones

-I found a shorter exercise video to follow for the part I'd like to work on

-I decided to drop one of my exercises b/c of the new addition of another one I picked in it's place for now

-That person I keeping keen on hasn't been sparring today.See if there just doing lessons that doesn't worry me as much as how often sparring is actually done.It's safe to guess that it's done at least once a week on Friday though..and maybe Mondays .An issue with Muay thai that I can say right off the bat is the eventual toll on the joints and adjusting to those joint movements for sparring.I'd just like to *always* be able to hold my own againest *that* particular person.

-My back doesn't hurt as much doing barbell curls while standing up straight.That's for sure !.A bit of expected soreness on the shoulders and bit on the sides but that goes away when I shower soon after.I think I gotta make it a thing that if I'm going to do heavy exercises I'll have to them before showering so as to relieve the pain.~3 hours later my shoulders and back feel way better.

-In spite of the recent behavior of my siblings I feel that this might be another in developing "renaissance" of mine with only a more sentimental isolation if anything.

I'll be d--- .Curl ups have to be done with a straight back it seems.I still can get into horse stance for the free weights though.The 25 open leg streches will help I guess.

D--- this back pain !.I've been doing 25 repititons of the 2 kinds of barbells and 2 kinds of freeweights we've got,since the start of last week while in a "horse stance".In that position my legs are spread knees wide open with my upper body lowered.That's what best suited for lifting isn't it?.I'm starting to think if it's b/c I need for space in front of me to stretch my arms out.It's making my back and shoulders sore and I haven't been able to stretch them out as much without soreness.Makes me wanna adopt some flexibilty stuff for later.It's that in a few weeks I hit 22:when they say that the latest running growth spurt stops.I wonder how much more I would've grown had I exercised as well when I was younger esp.strechy stuff .I think my younger brother might out grow me soon -_- leaving us in a "mario and luigi" situation

I'm only doing the weights routine for this month and I wanna change it for a different arrangment nxt time.I feel bad for how b/c of my bad mood and agitation I could follow my dad's instruction's for simple gardening.My mom vouched for me they argued and she brought up my condition* and I went back inside trying to gain my composure.I'm not in the mood to watch "Teddy bear" now but maybe an episode of Wolf's rain might do.

*My ever so "puzzling" condition -_-

http://lifeasleels.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Autism_Awareness_Ribbon.png

It interesting how while I was "quasi-lapsing" I actually beat the computer at chess in "chess titans".Level 1 setting with just a few moves of my knight over the course of occasional moves while I was browsing .Wow something good even while I sorta plunged into my old habit.

The trance youtube video from last time and a recent journal entry here has motivated me to do my homework.Electronica musica 4 life ! .

Before I left the house to the library I'm now at I told my sister that I've lately been having this voice telling me to smoke.I told her out loud how f---n idiotic it is b/c

(a)most of my whole life has been a struggle to be mobile with my legs and fast esp.since I used to walk with a limp that didn't go away naturally on it's own till I was like 15.One of the things I do with these legs that I wished for,for so long is sprint ahead of ppl who are smoking in front of me and have their cigarette fumes blown downwind into my face whereas in the past I tried to walk fast enuff so that s--- wouldn't be all up in my face.

(b)with the spped I've desired comes a duty to the lungs.A duty that I've been looking to expand lately by improve my breathing with holistic methods like Tai-chi,yoga,pilates and (also for my anxiety so as not to be addicted to my own mind as much) *breathing* meditation.To h--- with anything like a dumba--- habit that'll screw it up for me.

On my way here (as stupid and wild as this sounds) up this mall when I got the park that covers the top of this mall and arrived at a particular place where alotta ppl smoke (b/c it's right outside a few heavily employed places like a telemarketing place I think) I imagined myself jump kicking cigarettes out of ppl's hand with the incredible leg strength that comes from not smoking.I know it would be stupid to and would probably be followed by me being yelled and chased at* but the thought that counts is that giving up untainted lungs that have never voluntarily been damaged is to precious a thing to give up.Ppl jabber on about weight training and improving **glamor muscles but they complain so much about running.While I dont like running b/c "once upon a time" I was an extremist who did it till I was in denial and emaciated with the follow up slog of shizz from Sept '07-Sept'08 leg muscle is badly understated imo.It's why I wanna do jump rope and get into thigh muscularity.I'm saying this b/c I'm guessing that toxins from cigarettes screw up the lungs badly which accomadate hand-in-hand 4 running activities which is one reason why I think it is so understated.I dont think it effects arm functionailty as much b/c how often do you do activity so intense with your arms that your reathing strain on the lungs has to follow?.

Now one thing I'd like to say is that I think a lotta ppl have a shame in admitting that they think in terms of voices b/c so often it's associated with stuff like schnizophrenia ,bipolar and dissocciative identity disorder.But in I really believe that for most human beings who dont think in terms of written words popping up in their heads or even pictures,voices and audio stuff is the most common medium/form that they concieve and think of stuff in.I'll admit that I hear voices as well and I'm slightly autistic.A major manifestation of it is the storm of though when I get emotionally moved esp.to excitement.But there's a few that I got (which I've unravelled and confronted over these years) that produce bad shizz.One of them is this current voice which is being overshadowed by the awesomeness of the music here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTsSXDxlrOI 0:20:44 that's asking me to smoke.On my way walking here I think I know what made it.The voices of agitating dips---s past who made fun of me to the point of tears saying I smoked.

MOTHERF------------------------!!!! >8( .I've got pages on'em in my irl journal!!!.It was initiatied by one of a group of 3,with 2 others contiuing it oddly even after the originator transferred to a different high school 4 a year.One of them even said to me "the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have one"

>8l >-<THAT INSOLENT MANIPULATING TAUNTING F-----------------!!!!!!! D8<<

Him and that shorta--- dips-- that I've could've beat up.I actually knocked down the instigator once while he...

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