Of the original two,you have now flew

to places where your more alive ever longer.

I notice how passive a lot of the things here are..

TO DO LIST

+1) Make ePortfolio
1) Make review of DA entries
2) Work on short story and Jungian concepts
3) Make review of irl journal
4) Watch movie on ppl with Aspergers going to a wedding
5) Watch “heart and soul”
6) Meditation videos
7) Try thinking for a week in Spanish
________________

Seeing this http://spinoff.comicbookresources.com/2015/06/16/charlie-brown-dreams-big-in-new-peanuts-movie-trailer/

a trailer for "The Peanuts movie" and I think to myself how I used to *hate* Charlie Brown when I was little?. Why?. Aside from being such a dreary character giving 8 yr old thoughts of "hth does he he have a show >:( !?", I think it was secretly b/c he reminded me of myself so negative and ponderous but dang how I imagined hassling him .

<cue David Caruso "Yeeeaahh!!!" outro ^-^ >

What have I have seen from this year's blog entries thus far?:

-the self-induced anxiety which comes from thinking about a former crush. It's different from the anxiety of trying to click with one of my sister' friends.

-the anxiety of have cruddy work habits

-describing mundane occurrences for me

-realizing the importance of relaxation/emotional sobriety

I think it's easier to be charmed by the appeal of patterns when your very negative.

This video of deep house done with includions of the saxophone and flute is very neat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qLC7fxVuo4

Factor it.

I wasn't wanting to write here until I did another retrospective article but since i'm at summer school right now that might take a while I think it'd be better and healthier to let things out now.

The voices of flippers past is one thing which detracted my attention in accounting class today. That and not really having done the homework I admit. The teacher is a nice guy reminding me of the the first math teacher I was with when I transferred schools who (used to) be an accountant and not the final accounting teacher I had in accounting class who (while a nice guy) seemed a bit jaded and weary at times.

It's getting friggin uncanny as I think about how many of the teachers I've had issues with,like many in the employed teacher demographic in the seperate school board, even my co-op teacher in the public high school and a lab instructor I didn't like,first semester of biotech: -_- there all Italian.

...

You know I’m going to try to not go on a rant here,with how this extends all the way back to early childhood and hearing my dad talk about my laborers and bosses (who prob. hassled him) at construction work were Italian (or Portuguese, but I don't think I really even knew about the Portuguese ethnicity until I was 12) or the >_< GARBAGE I put up with in the other school board both from teachers of said ethnicity and from students of said ethnicit(ies) who "think they're all that"*


* At least here in Hamilton, in my eyes "Catholic school board" doesn't mean "more than ostensibly Catholic ppl,who prob. practice a 'folk piety' and for whom religion is *apparently =~= * a significant enough criterion to decide what kind of school my kids go to” to me it’s more like “Catholic school=very Eurocentric school which pulls off with an ostensibly religious look and impression”/ “we have ‘no idea’ how this label ‘filters’ out/is a turn off to “brown ppl” (North African and West Asian ppl) and (East) Asian ppl who would otherwise be going to this place which ends up culturally biased b/c we used a masked of a religious description where “folksy piety” is the qualifier and not something more complicated like say real-deal systematic Thomism”

_________________
Something else which is sad and toxic for me?. >_< ‘~’ There is seriously hardly *ANYONE* I can who I knew btw g.7-11 who I can feel comfortable about looking up on facebook. It’s gotten to the point where I feel compelled to dig up my g.6 class photo (if it’s still there) from the boxes of albums in my room but it’s not like I’ll get around to that anytime soon.

There is someone who I knew in g.7 who I’m actually more comfortable with looking up on facebook. Initials H.C. . When I think about her, she was one of the few ppl who were ever really sympathetic to me and even stood up for me and empathatized with me during occasional conversations. ‘_’ I feel---strange for how I see “diamonds in the rough” in retrospect. Even though I hardly spoke to her in high school I’m glad it seemed she prospered. I think I saw her twin sister at Pizza pizza last Saturday.


I can just imagine the teachers who I disliked from the first high school popping up in seats during a counseling session going “Oh you weren’t trying hard enough” , feigned grins and contrived platitudes from a group with a masculine “our gang” attitude—“don’t believe hjim. He has Asperger’s” ,”Your crazy”

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOUUUUUGGGGHHHH Dx< !!!!!!!!!!!

;_; Petty ad hominem attacks on me which I can retaliate several times fold with cogent retorts---but the images of those factors >_< and what they did to me! And how I feel life cheated me STILL STICK !! >_< @~@ ;~;

There was one “Mr.T’ who was actually nice,who I actually found nice even though I know he was still very much a part of that “our gang” group. Very nice and amicable man, a hockey coach with a distinct personality and very knowledgable about physical motion but (I had th...

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