I remind myself how on the 11th "SB13 - Pearson, Chap. 2 Skills Review - QUERIES" for Access is due and instead of wishful thinking, I'm going to try to shift my attitude (*NOT* my wll(-power)/resolve, plz notice, to make it thru this..

there's a black binder whenever I feel like dwadling on Youtube..

In my mind I have " it's that time of the year again" kind of feeling. Since late last month, I've noticed how ladybugs have been becoming more apparent not just in getting inside the house but also around the college, with an unfortunate number being around the front of the doors of A-wing.

13. What might be be considered "normal" might not be helpful

12. I should not equate uselessness with weakness. Some of what passes for power only came about because of a fear of weakness

11. I (my mind) won't be hijacked by the fake teacher or other jerks, if I use certain words or phrases which are the same as what they used but nowhere near in tone

10. The wait between practicing your homework and some graduation is f----g aggravating. It's tedious and nerve-wracking as f----k if your not use to it

9. [b][u]*THERE IS*[/u][/b] such a thing as knowing *[u][I]too[[/I]soon*

8. I am human. I need to learn to be a better listener.

7. Silence can be eerie and take some getting used to. Emptiness can be equated with silence

6. Don't let the judgements of stupid a--- posers who can hardly ever provide an answer influence the profoundness of your identity

5. Don't be afraid of how far back you have to go to embrace something to your identity from before you were as messed up.

The events of reality, in the historical sense etc, of that which happened while you were between age's 7-17, that span of 10 years or "a decade, the wide network of impacts it had, can become the ones which very much wind up embedded in your core

4. Even saying you embrace "all change" can be a harmful extreme if it's done out a feeling of "running away" in order to not be like someone nasty who used to say about certain things being constant

3. As =_= teeth-grindingly >~< [b]AGGRAVATING[/b] >8[ as it is, there are things which ONLY make sense w/hind-sight"=_= =___=

2. Just b/c someone is social doesn't mean there a good conversationalist--(the vulgarity of working with a landscaping crew at one time comes to mind; chide me for my introversion all you want, at least I can feel more certain about not only what topics I'll talk about,but how,most of the time)

1. I have a choice in whether ashholes from my past affect me,vice-versa,etc,etc

---(=__= SCREW the thoughts of Nelson Muntz pointing to me saying "Hah!You don't know how to make decisions)
________________________

Just to say, I don't really care if the fonts are adjusted but thanks anyhow

Age 4-5: Sitting under a certain pine tree in the small yard there was in the kindergarten there.

(:|Man, now that I think about it,the size..does the amount of space really suffice when it's little kid's ?)

Age 6: Watching others play w/pogs under the roofed part of Centennial/now Benneto or the the tree rooted within the walled circle or a tree which was grew at like a slant which I used to like playing with Hot Wheels under

Age 7-ish: Leamington-A certain tree with bark which "kind of peels off",(i wish I knew what kind of tree it was) and the picnic table nearby it.

Seeing the walls of the school covered in Mayflies during the summer season.

Age 8: Sitting under a certain part of the playground where there were pillars. Nice play to sit and occasional Pokemon card gaming going on there.

Age 9 or 10: Back in Leamington. Does looking out the back balcony at the restaurant-bar patio of the place where my aunt used to live count?. It extended to a dusty parking lot beyond which was a residental area and I think a hospital.

At school there were the far sides of the school yard,like near the entrance next to which was a fence where there were gardens where I used to prefer looking for grasshoppers in and at the very far back of the graciously wide playground was a patch of sand where I used to like to dig.

I buried a ladybug there once. Redug once and when I found the ladybug again and amazingly still moving, I decided to rebury the creature ._. .

Age 11: One slanted part on the pavement which led to the middle school which I rarely entered, (the classes I had were mainly out in the portables). There like a sandlot at the back of the again ,graciously wide schoolyard but digging there didn't feel the same.

Age 17: The pine tree near the sidewalk which leads to a parking lot at the side of SJAM, before going to the school's field. Nice place.

There and to some extent one of the benches,shaded, near the entrance.

Here?. There are many nice places to relax .

*School starts again tomorrow*

* I admit--near me are ppl talking about a new place to live and schooling--5:10 p.m.--I'm stressed*

-I bring up a to do list

-Chico passes away

-I bring up stuff about how my past s--ks

-I make a few remarks and observations

* Someone just asked me about exiting and parking--I feel embarassed for not having been able to help--5:14 p.m. *

-I start saying things about my personal disillusionment with education and embarrassment about my development,a bit more directly. As wel as my "mind-centricness". the distinguishment btw info and knowledge and mind (+emotional mind,informational mind,etc,etc) is important.

-A few times throughout, I start having a thing for more plainly typing out definitions

-I comment on a Youtube video and a singer

-There's the Alan Watt's quote and how I bring up how necessary it is to be happy

-I plainly list thing which I'm afraid of

`_` I'm not sure if there's something in common which my blog entries after June 12th and up until now have