since the last time i wrote i haven't even opened the hookup app but i'm beginning to feel an urge. i spent the last days feeling down and disgusted at myself. absolutely no sexual desire. i just woke up now after sleeping all day long (about 13 hours sleep, waking up for lunch) and i still feel like going back to bed. i have no idea what's happening? i just know that i better go practice some music right now or i won't have anything to show my teachers and will basically lose a whole week. i lost only 2 days and it's already too much.

my priest was more understanding than i had hoped, in the end. i believe he might be even helpful with my process of conversion instead of just an obstacle as i had thought at first (how vain can i be at times). sometimes i wonder what would i do without religion. all my hopes of someday achieving a decent amount of joy for being alive stem from my religion.