the last days have been pretty intense... i had been meeting the guy i wrote about on my last post pretty much evey week and i like everything about him. he ended up telling me some very deep childhood experiences to which even he had no access to until then, he ended up throwing up a lot and i spent the night taking care of him and it was a very intimate moment, and also pretty much the most intense situation i have ever lived. it bothered me that he treated me as if i were his therapist because that's not who i wanna be. he woke up feeling very well the next morning and we had a little sex, then after i left he invited me to come over again later on that same day... we kissed a little and lied together in bed. that was how i saw the whole thing.

on the next day i asked him if i could stop by again to give him a kiss and he told me he just wanted to be friends and that what had happened was due to his being fragile that night and his waking up horny and that's all, and also that he frequently felt uncomfortable because i kept crossing the boundaries of his personal space.

all of this has been horrible for me and i haven't spoken to him anymore. i felt like returning to having sex with strangers but haven't so far... i don't know yet if i will talk to him again. i don't know if i can coexist with him without hurting myself, plus i believe he used me in a really messed up way... perhaps he's not a man one should stick around. i don't want to be a nuisance either if he thinks i invade his personal space... well, the truth is, i'm only looking for reasons not to talk to him because i know it's a bad idea even though deep in my heart i just wish he was a different person.

Oh sweetie I'm sorry to hear about this... many hugs