I started smoking.
I hadn't done it for almost years!!! perhaps a cigaret every 6 months.
now i find myself sometimes smoking 2 a day.

I really feel lost.
I'm this young adult (25) with a great job for my age ( as well as salary) but somehow I feel like there's something missing.

I like loosing myself in work. being totally busy makes me forget about myself. but then, walking to the toilet, to get a coffee, to have lunch. the thoughts of despair appear.

I see them as clouds, that were always there but sometimes there's an umbrella over my head....

I really don't know what to do. How is it possible that someone so old is still going through this....stuff.

will this ever end? or am I going to be doomed until my last day?

this what some call hell on earth.