It's eleven and I can't sleep. I think it's been like this for the whole past week.
I'm so tired and sleepy but the moment I get to my bed, my eyes are wide open! What the hell?
I'm going crazy, this sucks. I've been thru this before and it ends in cutting...I don't want any more scars, I'm too old for them.

There has been something on my mind that I think it's the cause. I'm scared of screwing up on my new job. It's so easy to admit everything on writting...

As the days go by, I've seen that my new boss has put a lot of responsabilities on me. What if I screw up? What made him trust me?

My mother told me that perhaps he saw something in me that even I can't see now. I hope she's right. I hope that all this nonsense it's just the usual $#%^ i put myself thru.

See, i've got issues with trusting ppl...even more now, I've grown worse with time...so I find it hard to believe that someone could trust me...what have i done to earn that trust? nothing! Anything at all! And yet there I am....a 24 yo woman with a job that could be easily done by someone older.

One thing surprised me, i told my boss that the 2 persons that are going to be my team are way older that me, i asked him if they were aware i was going to be their boss. He said "age does not define anything"

Doesn't it?

I can do it, I'm just scared. As usual i will push myself to the limits.