i want to try and start remembering the positive feelings that i am starting to feel...i only seem to remember the negative ones or maybe even only WANT to remember negative ones...so, i am making myself write on a positive day. i even had to make myself put a smile then, i wasnt sure if i wanted to...dont know why, maybe i dont want to be happy, maybe i feel i shouldnt be happy...i dont know why but i made myself put it in anyway so i am seeing that as a positive step.

I have felt very positive about my uni course today...
I have felt more confident today...
I havent wanted to die today or really wanted to think about dying...
I am having a beer this evening in the house just to have a nice beer while watching teli...not for any other reason like to get drunk or im upset or im angry or im confused etc etc...
I appreciate a lot of my personality traits today...

I was just gonna start to write negative things ive thought today too but ive made myself not do that (another positive step).