There is a kind of guilt attached to that... That means that some poor person is forced to read whatever nonsense I write. Even if its drivel like my last post.
There is a kind of validation in it too... as by all acounts someone HAS to read it. Is that horrible? It might not make it out into the world, but what's to say the others do.

I can get paranoid sometimes.

I notice it more often when driving. It feels like I'm being followed home or to work.
Like no one else living in my area could possibly work in the city centre... Or that I am important enough to be followed... or have my internet history searched...

Stop being so delusional

Well, from the other side of this. I don't feel like a poor person. Approving blog posts is quite fun. There's such a vast diversity of people. Blogging on so many different topics. That there's a little excitement in seeing what comes up next. So I would reframe "drivel" as "over familiar stuff." I don't know if you feel like this. But I do often get very sick of thinking about my stuff. That doesn't mean that it has no interest for other people. Who have totally different stuff going on.

Also. At a much more personal level. I like the "permission" given by "mundane" blog posts. I sometimes get caught up in thinking everything must be. Perfectly written, novel, well reasoned, informative. And it's grounding in the best way. When I read other people JFDI.

I don't mean to tell you how to feel. But I think if you wanted to let go of any guilt around this approval thing. That would be perfectly OK. I'm not you, of course. But just from inside me. I don't see it as kind to yourself.

Thanks Ada.
I recently decided to stop lurking on this site and actually post something. Sort of just getting into it and not really sure of myself. Good to know someone might have some interest in what I put here, or relate to it or just have a laugh sometimes. I guess I also understand that the mods and admins choose to be here, so I'm not really beating myself up too much. I just had a little awkward moment when I submitted my last post and that approval notice appeared.

Been there, felt similar. blog/Ada/i%CA%B9m_starting_an_external_blog_about_my_daydreaming_problem_b-3010.html

Posting is good. I like blogging as a form of journalling. But most of the conversation happens in the forum itself. Just because it's easier to keep track there [there's no blog equivalent of "View your posts."]

Sometimes its not paranoia. I had a helicopter follow me for five miles, in show heavy traffic, once, long time ago. I mean even after I got where I was going and got out of the car that s.o.b. flew in for a close look at me. True story. But yeah, I get paranoid too. And I hate ppl walking behind me.

Paparazzi... you must be famous