Right, so its the silly hour again and my brain is in overdrive. May as well write.

The boyfriend wants a house. I have been resisting the idea because it means putting down more roots. And it makes my exit strategy messy. And apparently, even with our combined salaries, we're too poor to get a loan for anything decent from the bank. So the alternative would mean me taking a loan from my boss as he'll likely give me affordable repayment terms etc. Well if he agrees.
Obviously I want to make the darling boyfriend happy, so I've been trying to come up with a workable solution.
We can't take the loan on his name because my boss simply doesn't like him, but I shouldn't take it just on mine because he must be left with the house without us having to go through transfer and all those fun things.
So far what I've got is to form a trust and have it take the loan and buy the house. That way, when I go, the boyfriend will just have to continue with the repayments and I can make the excuse that I never really wanted it anyway. Still abit messy ito if he ever wants to sell.
Unless the trust can be set up in such a way that one person can make these decisions. Alternatively, we get a third trustee and have any two to sign arrangements. That might have potential, but clearly I need to speak to someone knowledgeable about these things as I could just be speaking out my butthole here.

Next, there has been talk of me setting up a company with one of my colleagues and buying 1 or 2 existing small businesses with the help of the company I work for. Same industry, so known territory, just on our name. My boss has already approved the concept and will give us the financial backing we need. Until we got his support it was all just pipe dreams and I was just kind of going with the flow, not getting too hung up on it. He could have said no. But now its more concrete and I seem to be getting myself more and more entangled into this whole thing.
I should be excited, any normal person would be, but I'm not at all. Feels more like I'm being backed into a corner and that I don't really have a choice. And funny enough, if I'm gonna ask for that home loan then in truth I really don't have a choice about this. Makes the whole disappearing thing more complicated. And its a lot of debt. Of course, there is the potential to make some good money once the loan is paid off, and it may be a long time before I feel I need to go, but I'm still apprehensive.
I could just pull out of the company at that point, but if it works it would be such a waste as ideally it would be almost passive income. Or perhaps I would want my family to benefit, but again that's messy so its probably not going to happen. And as with anything of this nature there's risk involved. I need to put some more thought into this.
So far the best course seems to be before I go to make my excuses and pull out. Maybe find them another partner at that point. I'll piss off some people, but its probably better that way.

I don't know. All of this seems like its part of somebody else's life and I'm just going along with it.

Exit strategy?

My romantic notion of running away to far off lands. Not gonna happen anytime soon tho, I seem to keep finding more work for myself.

Okay as long as you stay a live illegal alien, okay? ((hugs))

I know how you feel, hon. I thought I.. Well no I don't think, I do love the Snagina. But was never in love? Because I don't do 'in love' very well I get all crazy and obsessed and $#%^. And cry all the time. Well, back before depression stole the ability to cry buckets. I don't like being in love so I went for love and companionship. And I couldn't find anyone more good to put up with my silly dramatic scared OCD self. But yeah living sometime else's life yeah you and me both baby doll. A mortgage I didn't want, a job somewhere I was terrified to go work at but when three women folk the snagina and mama Snaga and momma snagina all expecting you to put on your big kid pants a guy's got no choice or chance. This life is killing me but if it weren't for this life I'd be sitting in a pile of $#%^ in a dark room hiding from the world. I just weren't meant to ever be really happy. I hope you find your happy sweetie. Just think real careful. I know you don't want to hurt no one and I don't mean it to sound like I don't adore Snagina she needs me so much but I think a lot of us have second and third thoughts and never feel like we're what we thought we'd be you know? We make the best out of what we have. At least that's what I hope.

We make plans and the universe laughs right?

I don't really cry either. I have days when I feel like crying, but not really sure when the last time was that I did. Your post got me pretty choked up tho...

Thank you hun. Sending huge hugs.

I hope that you're wrong about you. I really hope that one day you'll find your happy too.