Well more like at work. No real work getting done for half of the day. Pretending.
I could’ve left two hours ago except that I don’t want to go home. To be alone in the dark. No thanks. Even though I’m alone in the office anyway… Hmmm...
Feeling “triggered”. Really don’t like that word, but yes.
Had skype call with the bossman and felt the urge to cut the moment I heard his voice. Dug my nails into my arm without thinking. Then remembered where I was and stopped. How bizarre. He is an ass but I don’t hate him. I guess his assholiness can be stressful.
Or maybe it’s just that I’ve wanted to cut for a while now and am trying to give myself a reason. Something legitimate like stress. Ha!
Yesterday I was freezing but sweating buckets. Fever maybe? All very sudden and over just as quickly. Now I’ve got cold symptoms. No one home to nurse the pity party that is me.
Don’t want to go home. Afraid I’ll give in to myself.