That's a lie, but anyway.

Came home an hour earlier today with great plans for a big glass of wine and a blade. Been on my mind all day. Trouble is the boyfriend got home same time I did.

Actually took a blade with me to work today. Didn't use it but can't remember the last time I took one with me anywhere. Certainly not in the last 5 years.

Thing is I'm done with the mopeyness and sadness. I can't afford it right now. I am drowning in work and feeling sorry for myself is not going to get me anywhere. Feel like running away but can't do that right now. I need to pull my $#%^ together and start somewhere.

My skin is looking almost transparent lately and the veins are really showing through, but maybe I'm just fixating on them.

In other news, my period is messing me around. It's late, and that's not so much an issue, it was about a week late last month too. The problem is the 3 months before that it was about a week early each time. It needs to make up it's damn mind. Would be nice if it could go away all together. I'm not the biggest believer in pms but I wonder if some of the moping can be attributed to it...

It's 3am and I'm wide awake again... yay