I've just been...*see title*.

There's nothing I'm motivated to do. I don't feel sad, but I'm not happy.

The only time I feel is when I'm with others, and all I feel then is intense pressure to contribute, entertain, fit in, chitchat, etc. Then when I don't do it just right I feel like a failure. I feel ashamed and frustrated at myself.

I'm starting to feel a little bit more, but it's a gradual creeping sadness.

I feel like my heart's breaking because I thought I was doing so much better and then to be faced with this hideous apathy and ineptitude is so disappointing.

I know I do better with a schedule. This morning I decided to change the schedule around. It didn't go as well today, but I'm hoping it'll get better as the week goes by.