My doc upped the Celexa to 20mg. I had a few instances where I woke up in the middle of the night and couldn't do to sleep for a few hours. But overall I'm sleeping better.

I'm feeling better in the sense that the darker thoughts have faded away. I'm not as wrapped up in the bad memories as I was before. But I'm still very awkward and nervous socially and that makes me feel bad. I just don't dwell on it as much anymore.

I also saw a APN at a counseling center. She thinks I have ADD. She prescribed me with Vyvanse and Guanfesen. Said they should help with the bulimia and trichotillomania.

Everything sounds encouraging, hugs....

I'm concerned you're taking medications, because from what I read, even the NIMH admits they're not effective. See their website:
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/about/directors/thomas-insel/blog/2011/antidepressants-a-complicated-picture.shtml
But they do numb feelings, which makes it harder to follow the leads to any emotional wounds that need healing.
In any case, I hope you're continuing to explore your internal landscapes and getting the benefits of doing that.

actually meds have been my greatest asset. Adderall XR 20mg in the morning and 10-20 instant release in the afternoon. Then I take 10mg Celexa before bed (I cut the dosage in half and that works best for me). The Addreall has helped my mind focus in a way I didn't know it could. I'm not hyper. I feel calm and more confident. It's given me the tools to be able to start being myself. Instead of constantly worrying about what others are doing or thinking about me I've been able to think more about the present and the world around me. I still worry and have social anxiety but it doesn't bother me to the point where I'm crying, hurt, angry, depressed, or ready to kill myself. I've been able to look at a situation and go, 'Hmm. That didn't go well. What can I do to change that in the future?' And I have! Adderall releases seratonin and Celexa prevents it from leaving the system. I don't recomment anti-depressants by themselves. Like you say, JumpingHoops, they only numb you. But combined with a stimulant, it's been truly transformative.