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Why's it so hard :( (trigger)

I've been thinking about writing this for a while, but been putting it off out of fear that it would be triggering to myself!

I don't know where to turn next in my long long battle with anxiety and depression. I've been 'handling' depression now since I was 17 (I'm 29), in various forms, many ups and many downs. I've been properly suicidal a few times, I've been married, divorced, I've been a sex and ...
Read more : Why's it so hard :( (trigger) | Views : 40 | Replies : 0


A question that I am certain hasn't been asked before.

I am not quite sure where I should be placing this topic. The answers will be entirely based off of personal views, and there for no solidity can be offered. The question gravitates not to the condition at hand, but how one would deal with a therapist in very specific, and very unusual, circumstances.

A lot of you who will be reading this will have a similar opinion that a therapist would have, in regards ...
Read more : A question that I am certain hasn't been asked before. | Views : 37 | Replies : 0

I can't deal with all of this.

I can not stop thinking about suicide. It is now just a everyday thought. I almost find comforting, because I know I can be gone. Usually they just thoughts, but, it is becoming more common for to actually contemplated suicide. I have looked into it somewhat, I haven't lately,but when I seriously think about it, I research it. I fantasize my suicide too.

I feel worthless to most people. I also feel like a huge ...
Read more : I can't deal with all of this. | Views : 216 | Replies : 4

things that can't be changed, things that can

I'm a 57 year old male with BPD.

Incredibly, to myself, I've managed to finesse my way through a life of disasters. Although I know how and why I've managed it.

I guess most here have a story of neglect and/or childhood trauma and so do I. How serious? Well my little sister said some time ago she was in a group therapy meeting and came back after listening to the stories, thinking "they have ...
Read more : things that can't be changed, things that can | Views : 159 | Replies : 1

What have I missed never living alone?

Can living alone benefit me psychologically?

I've never lived alone, what have I missed? I never had a restroom or closet reserved for me, a lock for my bedroom, a kitchen with only items I enjoy, or control over heat/air conditioning. I have never had control over cable providers/packages, visitors, if any, and benefits unknown to me.

Since I've always had company, I long to know what's it's like to have a space to call ...
Read more : What have I missed never living alone? | Views : 183 | Replies : 4

If the one with illness/addiction is supporting the family..

By supporting, I mean financially. Especially if they have a really good job?

This is something I know I've posted on here before. I know a lot of parents drink a lot. But I see people all the time who come from families with money, people who tell me that I should be grateful for everything I've been given... but I still feel like something's missing. It wasn't easy growing up with a mother who ...
Read more : If the one with illness/addiction is supporting the family.. | Views : 274 | Replies : 8

Trying to cope.

Hey everyone, Not sure where exactly to put this, I figured this was close enough but if not I apologize.

I'm not sure where to start. I constantly have these agonizing feelings loom over me. Maybe I spent too much of my childhood engulfed in media. I know my childhood wasnt the best but I don't know if thats the cause. I'll get right to the point. It's hard to watch tv, or watch a ...
Read more : Trying to cope. | Views : 224 | Replies : 3

What is this behavior called?

I've had situations where I've worn, achieved, been known for, or seen with something desirable, and afterwards been treated awkwardly. I've had complete strangers engage, gawk at, and physically embrace/touch me. I've also had users who have never spoken to me before claim to have full and clear accounts of me, and start attempting to impose themselves on me. Negative attention has happened as well. I've had strangers say negative things about me, try to ...
Read more : What is this behavior called? | Views : 202 | Replies : 2

Can i vent out here? i dunno who else would listen to me

i think i have a depression for a while.. maybe like months but i was trying to cope by myself because no one knows what happened to me and the only one knows has his very own problem that hard to deal with so he can't help me much. i knew it was going to be worse and it is now, from what i read on internet it's called panic attack and i fear about ...
Read more : Can i vent out here? i dunno who else would listen to me | Views : 192 | Replies : 3

feeling trapped-crap(share ur experience too)

trying to sound coherent and succinct here....
trapped by society-expecting people to be smart and productive, be the best they can, go through the education system. always needing to conform to the norm. always expecting certain types of behaviour and attitude.
trapped by parents-always comparing and seeing who is better than who. disparaging remarks.
trapped by teachers-thinking that the students shld behave in some way.
trapped by case mgr- she thinks i shld get a ...
Read more : feeling trapped-crap(share ur experience too) | Views : 218 | Replies : 3


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