Finally sleeping well

Monday last week my mother finally passed on. She was cremated two days later with no service and no family present, no acknowledgement she had ever lived. I received the phone call at 10.25pm from the nursing home, and I guessed I moved into some state of disassociation soon after. Possibly lasted until four or five days later. Found myself over working here at home and becoming more and more exhausted. This culminated in a infection from a leech bite I had received two weeks earlier deciding it would have a go at killing me and I had a vein infected. (It was two weeks after the bite though!!). No blood clot, thankfully and getting better.

Since I have come down I am sleeping much better. My past life usually intruded at night. That childhood lead me to being a rather strange child who my teachers took a dislike to (not naughty or disobedient but lacking in respect) .... and also I found many employers did too. It rolled through my life and still does today. (luckily leading me down a path where brutal hard work - that disassociation thing again, and seeing behind the mirror, made more money than my wife and I will ever need). Still it kept me awake trying to piece it all together, the cause and effect.

Since Thursday I have slept better than in many many years. Hope my new life stays that way.

I really hope this is the start of something much calmer for you - it's clearly brought a sense of relief and sounds as though it's been very freeing for you. Hugs if you'd like some.

Thank you for sharing because it's us who need to know there is good in store for us even through all of our suffering we have endured, like you have and more. You've endured so much pain for so long. I know this well. I am here to be a friend to you. Sending a very big hug. Even more hugs after that because you are so strong.

From : Luzifer.
To : Terry E.

Subject: Re: Finally sleeping well.

Hello, mister Terry E. I was reading this thread that you made, and I couldn't resist to make a reply regarding this though topic to discuss. When a close family member passes on to a better life, it's a very hard thing for the closer persons to that individual. I can't imagine all the pain and sadness that event has had on you, and obviously I can't feel it either. I'm someone who lacks from emotions and empathy, but I'm sure that the best is to say to you that I'm sorry and I hope you can have better days. You know what they say, there's a rainbow after the storm, or something like that. This is the first thread that I'm reading, and actually I don't know much of you aside from this post, but I wish the best for you in your life. It's ok to be sad, it's ok to feel bad, but that doesn´t mean that you need to be in that mood forever, life is life, and that's just it. Life's a bitch, always been a bitch, but there will be better days, I promise. I hope you get better with your infection that you mentioned, and if you need anything, we could talk if you like.

Sincerely, Luzifer.