Narcissist and flying monkeys

Hello. I don't know if anybody is on this forum but please don't flag this as spam. I just created this account to ask for help and that is the only thing that I will do. You can delete my account after this. I posted this on reddit but it has been automatically removed by reddit filter and I really don't know who else to ask. I'm just going to copy/paste the message that wrote on reddit. If the administrator finds this as spam, that is ok and thank you for considering it.

What I'm about to say is truly unbelievable. It is going to make me sound like a paranoid schizophrenic and it is not going to be the whole story. Not even 1%. I cannot say everything because its too complicated and I cannot allow that the flying monkeys find out about this post. I'm also having a really hard time writing this post so please, take this post seriously. I'm not trying to get attention or anything like that. Because of that, I cannot go into specifics why this is happening but I assure you that I did not do anything bad to anyone.

Basically, a narcissist turned an entire city into flying monkeys. I really cannot tell the entire story but I will just give some examples that happened to me for the last year and a half.

I was going to cross the street at an intersection. Before I even stepped on the crossing, I noticed a man in a car looking at me with literally blood in his eyes. As soon as i stepped on the crossing, he peddled on the gas on and off, the entire time looking at me. As soon as I crossed the street, he stopped but continued looking at me.

I was sitting in a caffe alone, drinking coffie. A man, maybe 3 tables away, was looking at me the whole time. At one point, he was looking at me and I looked at him. It that moment, he made a gesture that he will going to slit my throat and kept looking at me. He wasn't sitting alone, he was sitting with multiple people.

Having a coup of coffie relaxes me and I always tip the waiter or waitress. They noticed that and waiters, at one point, stopped giving me the change. Not everyone, but some of them. One time, I had only 5 euros. The bill was 2.5 euros. The waiter just threw 2 euros at me. He literally threw them at me, not saying anything.

Random strangers have regularly pointed at me and laughed.

The police know everything about it and don't really care. Many times I saw police literally laughing in my face. Not laughing with each other but to me. An example would be that four police officers were walking towards me. At about 15 meters from me, they noticed me, stop talking immediatelly and started starring at me and grinning. They were literally passing by me, silently, and starring at me while grinning. That happened multiple times, not just once.

At work, I just stopped talking to my coworkers about 3 months ago. I literally just stopped saying anything. We used to all go for a cup of coffie and I suddenly just stopped doing that. I go out and sit by miself. None of them asked me anything. Not why, I am ok, is there something happening in my life, nothing. They just pretend that I don't exists as I pretend they don't exist.

These are just the tip of the iceberg that are obvious and hopefully, you will find credible. The rest of them sound crazy and you would not believe me.

For this city, this has become some kind of sick entertainment. I stopped going out of my apartment because of all this. When I did go out, I've had sick manipulations and mind games being played, if told, would make me a crazy person in your eyes. I am also well aware that it is not everyone but a very large group of people and no one is stopping them. I'm not saying they are organized but that this has become such a sick demented entertainment, that nobody really cares. I feel like I'm not a human being anymore for them.

I don't know what to do. I have no one to talk to. I am currently trying to find a job but in my profession, I'm afraid that this has spread and that no one would want to hire me, but I'm not yet sure about that. I'm depressed. Sometimes, I'm having a hard time even walking. I can't shake the feeling that my life is completely ruined and that there is no way out. I'm also thinking of just becoming homeless in another city. Anything would be better than this. Suicide is also on my mind. Seeking professional help is also not possible since they also know but nobody will tell me. If I ask what is going on, I'm afraid they will gaslight me and institutionalize me because this all sounds like paranoid schizophrenia.

Recently, I went on a vacation to another country and I was much better, day by day so I know I can get better. But as soon as I got back, it all went away. It was as if I got back to hell. But I know I can get better.

I don't know what to do. Since I'm surrounded by basically evil, I'm trying to just stay a good person because I don't want this thing to follow me, both in my mind and with any future relationships. Through all of this, I realized how important honesty is, but I'm at my wits end. I don't have anything left to pull strength from.

Again, I know how I sound. I would probably think I'm crazy if I was you. What I'm asking of you is to advise me what to do. I'm looking for another job in another country. I also opened a company in another country so I could find a remote job. 5 days ago, I stopped exercising. I just don't have any mental strength to do it but I will start again. I concentrated on my work and work only. Until I find a job, I don't know what else I can do to help myself. I don't know what else to do to keep myself "fixed" until I find a job and move away from here. Any advice would be helpful.

Hello and welcome.

I know you don't want to seek the help of a professional, but I think you really must.

Have you ever had any sort of treatment for mental illness? Have you been diagnosed with anything? Have you ever experienced something like this and then it has gone away (and then come back again)?

zedzed222 wrote:What I'm asking of you is to advise me what to do.

See your doctor and tell them what you told us.

It seems that you have some really bad conflict with a narcissist. At that point we should speak about malignant narcissist, since such activity involves already a city and a police. In the 21st century it's not that surprising with all the technology given. Additionally society has changed somewhat after COVID. People were in isolation for a long period of time and now only few years after government(s) has been declared that there is no COVID people suddenly have back their freedom and some hidden anger.

Personally I don't know why police is involved in your case, but it's important in anyway. If malignant narcissist is knowing about that, then it might depend on certain facts like if hew got (successfully) sewed with evidence etc. and he might get in jail and some process is running (which might take some time), well he'll do revenge as long as he can and toxicate everything around you, as long as no one has control over him (e.g. by going public and potentially ruin his reputation and defacing him or increasing prison time if you have some more evidence) - your neighbors, places you like to go, social media you use etc. It's like a social nuclear nuke. Additional factors like his (narcissists) social status and his wealth will play a role. If he has money and experience and connections to same shady stuff, it might get really really dirty. As already said, if you have a law protecting you (police, court etc.), you can turn the game around and stop that madness. If you have nothing against him - maybe you should start collecting evidences, information, write down what happened etc. Be extremely highly discreet. If you can be useful to someone, find allies - they might be helpful. However allies historically and just as the way it is are proven to potentially loose interest in you or just event turn against you. Be useful to someone but don't trust too much. Actually don't trust anyone.

If you have conflict with a malignant narcissist it's like a medieval war in modern times - you have some lord with his army which wants to destroy or just to control you. Some of them just wanna play with you for their entertainment. Take it serious like if you were on front lines of some big battle. If you win it might be still a pyrrhic victory. However you need to know your goals and try to achieve them. Maybe you can still put that guy into jail.

There is a book "The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. If you open that book and find yourself in a situation after reading first pages that you could be the one who could have written it - close it and never open that book again. You don't need his or my advices. Do what you think is right.

Act strategically. As I said - it's a war. You've might already lost, but at least maybe you can still achieve some significant wins and thus making that lost war actually to be won by you. Make goals and try to achieve them. If you lost some of your friends, then it's definitely a loss. If you knew that your friends are not useful and just bad friends - then now you know, congratulations it's your enlightenment. Otherwise you already knew it and maybe it's time to restart with some new friends, new job and move to a new place.

Attack of a narcissist in the 21st century might have huge social impact. We live in a socialized world. Maybe you like to live alone and think that that would be okay and you're not vulnerable - you maybe still wanna go to the cinema and just to your lovely place nobody knows. If you very socialized - the question is where is all your (or at least parts) of your support system? Attack of a narcissist might involve different gaslight techniques - words with double meaning, gaslighting you on social media like tiktok, instagramm (if your privacy settings are not set properly he might get list of your subscriptions and ask them to gaslight you) - e.g. you might see increasing number of tiktok videos from creators you have subscribed to with some specific keywords which you obviously recognize as gaslight. Gaslighting might be even more perfidious, in order to start questioning yourself if you, like if you're waiting for a bus on a bus station you starting to see people like some of your relatives or some of your best friends or maybe some of your colleagues. So seemingly not involved people are passively gaslighting you. Maybe they got some money, maybe they are told that they are playing in some public scetch. As I said it can be very perfidious depending on the stage and motivation of his attack. You should know why exactly he is doing that and what his goal are. You might find you in situation that some of your neighbors are knocking on their floor and thus your ceiling or just knocking on the door. Yeah, you might get gaslighted by your neighbours. These are only some examples what might happen - shady, but if try to sew - what they are doing is legal and you seemingly cannot do anything - move away to another apartment / city / country if that continues and continues. Compared to such attack loosing a job is joke. However you need money for a lawyer and just enables you more freedom of decision making. With more money you have more possibilities what you can actually do. Be careful and very discreet.

What I'm talking about is like beeing shizioid without actually beeing shizoid. Gaslight, proxies, breaking social rules and norms. If it involves cyber attacks and public smearing, blackmailing and death treats then it's very very serious. As I said act strategically. Be very careful. Still, deal that person with respect, please. There is some blog posts, literature, scientific papers and books about all that stuff. You might find some useful informations. Something common is also caughing when someone is walking near you. On YoutTube you might find some good in depth videos about that. Maybe you'll like how DoctorRamani is talking about that topic in depth. She talks very much about this.

Borders. At some point you've might crossed some of narcissists boundaries or maybe he crossed some of yours but situations might be not always so trivial so that you say goodbye to that guy. In some situations you might think maybe he is not that bad or maybe you were parallel involved in some other problems and missed to see that line and thought that probably you're just making it up that narcissist is gaslighting you and then it is seemingly too late. As I said if you had at some point serious conflict with narcissist and was unable to fix it - it will get worse until he feels having control over you. Narcissist desires control. If he's loosing control - he feels insecure and hence he needs to fix it. They are very insecure in their core. They like to be desired. They don't feel empathy with you. However they are still humans and needs to be taken respectfully. Always treat that person respectfully even you abhore him. If you try to attack them directly, it's highly not advisable. It will just amuse them and not only them. As I already said - act strategically. This still doesn't guarantee you anything but at least you won't be something to laugh directly. Be discreet and respectful.

Technology. In modern world we have surveillance everywhere, but specifically on your hardware which you might have got from your company. In 21st century it is very common. Sound recordings, screen viewers, logging etc. In Germany it is somewhat forbidden. But how you wanna prove it without touching their device? Highly not recommended. But you should just now that you shouldn't use company's hardware at home if you care about your privacy. Your might get gaslighted with the things you have said privately. It's ugly but that's the way it is. If they don't like what you said or even are really threatened by some of your actions or maybe you're just sharing your opinion about them and they know and might got highly triggered that might lead to something really undesirable like cyber attacks against you and your family, friends. This might get very dirty. If you think only politicians and some business guys get hacked it's true. However exploits are expensive but still somewhat affordable especially in some eastern europe countries. There are e.g. many cyber security top competition teams from Poland. Poland is not a rich country. Russia and Ukraine are not rich countries. There are highly skilled people who can find vulnerabilities in software and write exploits for them. I'm not speaking about some high-tier exploits for browsers and operating systems which are highly involved and absolutely not cheap. Just don't use public WiFi. Don't use company's laptop with your router. Don't use your routers WiFi for your phone. Malicious phone updates are really somewhat common attack if you google it. If you think you was hacked and that guy is gaslighting you with private details and you're not shizoid - change phone, change SIM card, change passwords, don't use WiFi. Collect evidence. Be paranoid. Be careful. If someone else got hacked and that person knows it - maybe you shouldn't talk to him directly for your and his safety. Talking directly maybe not always be a good idea. You need to be very very confident that you indeed got hacked. And i'm not talking about hacking emails when you have possibly weak passwords. Real hacks with real consequences. If narcissist has money he will find his ways to blackmail you for the sake of control. This is serious.

Stalking. Attacks can involve stalking and cyber stalking. Be aware of it. E.g. in Germany stalking is persecuted by law. However it might not be always so simple to prove that. And not only narcissists do stalking. Stalking can be done via proxies even without knowing that they are actually used for stalking and gaslighting.

If you think you need a doctor, well he might give you some sedatives and antidepressiva. Maybe he will talk to you and ask some questions and try to do some therapy thinking you're shizoid. If're not shizoid it's a waste of time unless you wanna get lobotomy from him. You need to fix your problem and that's your conflict with narcissist. Go to another city and some other country secretly you'll find "normal" people around you if you need this for your personal comparison that everything is right with your sanity. Be very discreet.

I know, loosing social status, friends, family hurts. It's a social investment which someone has viciously attacked. Maybe it can be fixed. Sometimes it is better to change the place you live, change your job, move to another country. In the end it's your precious time you have invested in those social connections - so how that person dares to steal your time?. Still, try to have fun as much you can. However a war with a narcissist is not a party time at all. Stay calm. Emotions aren't helpful in such situations. If you control them in any way or don't have any - see it as a bonus . Like in any war this leaves deep scars. Better be alive with scars than not. Both of the sides are not holy and definitely not the next Jesus and Mother Theresa. You have your strengths. We live because our ancestors survived and by knowing that beeing asshole is programmed in our DNA independently of our personal opinions about beeing an asshole or not.

Stay calm and have fun.

If you've been abused by a narcissist for a prolonged period of time, this could lead to all kinds of self-doubt, confusion, and paranoia. That's what gas-lighting does to you. It can leave you questioning your own sanity.
Due to the abuse that took place, You could also be in a heightened state of awareness/hyper vigilant, which in turn, has lead to all kinds of beliefs going through your head about how others are treating you.
Ie being fearful of threat.
Abuse can have all kinds of effects on our thinking and reasoning. The outcome of such abuse, contributing to the thoughts that you may be struggling with delusions associated with paranoid schizophrenia.
As others have suggested. I'd speak with your doctor. Talk about the things you feel are going an around you regarding your treatment from others, not forgetting to mention the gaslighting/abuse you've endured from your experiences with someone you suspect may be struggling with NPD.
I hope this is of some help to you. Best of luck.

Happened to me in the past, at different scales.

What helped me was: first, doing what the others told you, aka see a doctor. Meds can help cope with the symptoms of anxiety etc. that come with the abuse. Does not solve the problem but makes it seem small enough that you can handle it, wich is very helpful. Second, therapy (CBT, DBT...) to learn how to keep myself out of reach of abuse, set boundaries, and basically, learn how to be so confident that people around me "feel" it though my behavior and stop messing with me -and that I stop being hypervigilent and misinterpreting random people's behaviors as agressive towards me.

To use your flying monkey metaphor: I cannot make the monkeys stop flying but I can step outside of their shadow and out of their view, so that they forget about me and stop messing with me. And take prescription meds to put my brain back on tracks after all the stress of the ordeal. The narcissists are still telling lies behind my back, but since I am out of their reach, they now sound crazy to obsess over me while I'm so far out of their lives.