Situational Retarded Ejaculation

Great post and an important distinction made between psychogenic and organic causes of RE. A sudden onset of RE late inlife is usually related to a physical cause. Although, there is something called "Widower's Retarded Ejaculation" which occurs when a long married widower attempts sex with a new partner after the death of a spouse. Despite the advanced age of the men in these cases, the Re is usually always has a psychological root cause- guilt, performance anxiety etc. In older men, low testosterone levels, heart and central nervous system diseases should all be considered. Sadly, in older married couples sexual boredom can also cause RE.

As you said the biggie on the non psychological side are the Tricyclic and SSRI antidepressants. This have the effect of putting ten condoms on your penis before intercourse. Interestingly, the numbness and loss of libido caused by these drugs is very much the same as is caused by the anxiety/low arousal levels in psychogeniclly caused RE.

Adding Wellbutrin to the ant depressant as a combination therapy has helped many men who need to take the Tricyclic or SSRI medications but proper dosage levels take awhile to be found.

The Holy Grail for the big Pharmas is to discover a drug which significantly boots arousal levels-- enough to overcome both the psychological blocks to reaching orgasm AND to override the effects of the medications that have Retarded Ejaculation as a side effect.

For non depressed men, Wellbutrin and Viagra work in some cases. But so far, with the exception of the work with Surrogates done by Bernie Apfelbaum, Sex Therapy has shown little promise in treating RE, there is still much research to be done.

I've had situational RE for years. It usually kicks in when any given relationship starts to get serious. The sysmptoms are the usual, my penis suddenly starts feeling numb. At this point sometimes I can keep the erection going until she finishes, sometimes not. It always amazed me when it happened because in many cases the women I was with was very hot.

I was never that sexually attracted to the woman I married but she had alot of other things going on that attracted me to her. The RE started with her almost right away. Before we were married I faked orgasms using a condom. After marriage I just tried not to make a big deal about it. I could always finish myself off later. But she began to notice so we talked about it and I started going to a Sex Therapist which after a year with no results was basically a waste of time.

My wife and I tried a few different things but what ended up working in the end was some of the things I've been reading about here.

Wellbutrin really raised my level of desire for my wife. And Viagra did, mostly stop the numb penis feeling. But it was adding erotic videos to the mix that really made a dramatic difference. I read on another web site that this is called cognitive distraction and is now starting to be suggested by Sex Therapists for couples with RE problems. It really does work because I don't obsess and worry about whether or not I'm going to be able to ejaculate. With my attention focused on the TV screen I can have an orgasm in just a few minutes.

I even stopped the Wellbutrin because it was making me feel a bit jittery and I was still OK.

Happy With Results, did you use regulary to e before you started to use it with your wife?

Happy With Results, did you use porn regulary to e before you started to use it with your wife?

No. Everything was different when I was single. I always had somebody I was seeing so I hardly even masturbated and never used porn.

AS far as the RE went at first I had no idea anything was wrong. I just thought that I got sexually bored very easily. So when the RE would start with a woman, as I said above, usually after the relationship would start to get serious, I just figured
it was time to move on. I never even really considered it to even be a problem. It never happened with one night stands or women I would just have sex with a few times.

But after being single and dating for almost 20 years I finally felt it was time to settle down. As soon as I became engaged to my wife the RE started happening. I figured I could fake it until after we were married and figure out a way to deal with it. It was rough the first two or three years after we were married because it got so I couldn't ejaculate with her even by masturbating myself with her in the same room. I also lost all desire to have sex with her. That's when I started watching alot of porn.

But I also started rsearching the problem on the internet and sure enough it was a real dysfunction with a name- RE. It took awhile but thanks to my research I discovered the "cognitive distraction using erotic videos" method that some Sex Therapists were using with good results.

I don't think it matters whether you watch porn or not, it's the distraction part, the taking your mind of the worry of not being able to ejaculate, that is the key. Like most men with RE mine is caused by anxiety which is bypassed using the distraction method.

My boyfriend of over 3 years now has RE. It first happened about a year and a half ago when he started using Lexapro. By Christmas '04 he had discontinued the medication and was able to achieve full orgasm with me. He went back on the Lexapro this past spring and the RE problem returned. During this entire time, he was only relying on his internist for the prescriptions - never really working with an MD who knows probably a bit more, such a psychiatrist.

However, he took himself off the Lexapro in the summer, finally went to see a psychiatrist a month and a half ago and started using Effexor. According to the M.D., Effexor does not have the SSRI sexual side effects. But neither after he discontinued the Lexapro for a second time, or after starting the Effexor, he still has no ability to orgasm. The physical aspect has been removed, yet RE remains. During sex, I tire out, he tires very easily because of his own weight and he mentions an exciting sexual encounter turning into his penis becoming numb.

According to him, during sex, he will ultimately think about the possibility of not coming, then it's ruined. I try to emphasize the need for him to just enjoy what he's doing and not worry so much.

He does have a lot going on stess-wise, but always has. And he's an expert at blaming outside factors and individuals for his problems. And because of this, I'm fearing that he'll always use stress as an excuse and things won't get better for us.

And since this started, I've become pretty insecure and it sucks!!!! Inside, I want to be able to distance myself from the deep feelings i have for him and just run out and fool around, but that would destroy our relationship.

Any feedback for him seeking help or providing me with more patience and encouragement would be appreciated.

I should mention...

my bf says he's not the masterbaiting type as i see this gets mentioned often in this thread. And he's NEVER come through oral sex.

He's 43, I'm 39. We don;t plan on having children so the need to conceive isn't driving us on this matter. Nonetheless, it's a huge matter to me...

amp1966, your boyfriend's psychiatrist is wrong. Effexor absolutely has sexual side effects. In fact, Effexor is one of the worst culprits. In particular, problems with orgasm and/or arousal. The only antidepressant I am aware of that supposedly causes fewer sexual side effects is Wellbutrin. From what you described, it seems that your boyfriend's orgasm difficulties are directly related, at least temporally, to his antidepressant use. Of course once it happens, it can turn into a vicious circle, because he starts worrying that it will happen again, which distracts him and makes it more likely that it will happen again. I'm surprised his psychiatrist told him Effexor doesn't have sexual side effects. I can't imagine where s/he got this idea. Maybe he should ask his psychiatrist if he can try Wellbutrin instead.

Actually, there IS a pill for RE!

Reader: 8/25/2005>
I have trouble ejaculating during intercourse. Many times it seems like it starts to come out but it just goes back in. I can get my self off but it takes a lot of effort. I don t smoke or drink alcohol, and am in pretty good shape. My erections are fine, its like a loaded gun that won t fire. Dr. Lin: 8/26/2005>This is a classical semen production deficiency for middle-aged and senior men when their dopamine, oxytocin and androgen hormones run low and they fire their shots more often than they can reload their guns.
You will need ViaPal-hGH-P(3-010) and PinealTonin (2-002) , plus L-Arginine 500 mg 3 times aday, Fish and Borage Oil(1000 mg each meal) to help you gradually rejuvenate your neuro-endocrine function, boost the prostaglandin E-1 and semen synthesis and excite your NO/Oxytonergic nervous system for healing
http://www.actionlove.com/mail/herbform.htm
(Please Note: We will have a new product ArgiNOx to work with ViaPal-hGH-P/-M/-E/-J/-X for a faster reloading of your "bullets.")

found on http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case13685.htm

http://www.actionlove.com/extra/semendry.htm

WOW!

This guy claims that RE is not psychological problem, its actuallt physical. He says RE comes because prostate doesnt produce enough semen for ejaculation.

Over-masturbation during puberty forced the brain to shut down the prostate's seminal production for protection of the rest of the body and, of course, for no seminal ejaculation (but, just like female ejaculation, if any) and no more sexual orgasm

RE is cured by using ViaPal-hGH-P . (some kind of herb-based medications).

Cases:
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case10316.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case10534.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case10649.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case10970.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11045.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11177.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11371.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11635.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case12571.htm

SUCCESFUL STORIES:
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11060.htm
http://www.actionlove.com/cases/case11384.htm

There are much more cases on that site. I want to belive that this will help me. ViaPal-hGH-P costs about 100$. I live in a poor country, my parent's earn less then 9000$ a year TOGETHER.

This means that 100$ is a big investition for me. I hope that somebody will try this and post here if it worked before i decide to spend a little fortune for ViaPal-hGH-P.

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