Situational Retarded Ejaculation

Wow, are you ever fast in responding to my post!

I definitely agree with your well spoken comments.


Has anyone here had any positive or negative experiences with Remeron (mirtazapine) with regard to RE?

As you may know, Remeron is one of those newer antidepressants like Wellbutrin and Serzone that are less likely to impair sexual function (delayed ejaculation, anorgasmia, erectile dysfuntion). Remeron specifically stimulates the release of noradrenaline (norepinephrine) and serotonin while blocking two serotonin reeptors, 5-HT2 and 5-HT3, which are thought to be responsible for such side effects as loss of interest in sex, nausea, nervousness and insomnia. My use of Wellbutrin at 150 mg/day appears to increase insomnia for me which is officially listed as one of its side affects for some people. Remeron in turn should not cause insomnia but rather help to avoid insomnia. Besides, one of the great things about Remeron is that it has been shown to increase non-Rem, stage 3 and 4, slow-wave sleep and one of the few medications and maybe the only antidepressant to help reduce sleep apnea in research reports recently. This all may help to avoid the use of Ambien for insomnia. Possible weight gain is one of the negative side effects from the use of mirtazapine or Remeron.

Remeron looks really interesting. Why not post the question to the depression thread on this site and just ask about any increased sexual effects and the sleep/sleep apnea side effects? Let us know if you get any positive responses.

so, archer, how did you and your wife cope with RE. i mean, now you say you have less problems with RE, so what did you do? maybe I can learn something.

I had two problems- anxiety induced RE due to childhood issues...violent alcholic father, parents hated each other, poverty, anxious, shy kid, grew up in a rural area with few other kids my age, spent alot of time alone, hated school etc. always prone to mild depression.

And I'm not that sexually attracted to my wife.

The workaround was Wellbutrin to increase desire for sex with the wife. Buspar for the generalized anxiety, Porn videos during sex as distraction from RE performance anxiety. Viagra to combat numb penis and loss of erection due to RE fears.

Maybe doesn't sound great for Joe Blow who has a normal sex life. But after almost 20 years of a sexless marriage, it's not too bad.
God knows the wife is happy.

For many years I didn't know what the hell was going on. I'd never even heard of RE. A little research has gone a long way.

do you believe after awhile you can reduce the level of the medication and eventually get to the level where you can just achieve an orgasm without any help?

The Wellbutrin, yes. The Buspar and Viagra, no. I do believe however that if I was ever to have a brief affair or a quickie with someone other than my wife I wouldn't need the Viagra.

I didn't read this whole thread there are so many posts but has anybody got retarded ejaculation because they are bored or not turned on by their wives? I just can't cum with my wife anymore. She just lies there not making a sound. It's like ######6 a dead person. I tried some of the stuff talked about here like Viagra and porn. The porn worked a couple of times but she didn't like it on so that made me not enjoy it. I can go and go for a long time I guess because of the viagra but I know I'm not horny enough to cum. Any way to fix this? Any drugs that can raise my arousal level with my wife? I did have a one night stand last year with a woman from work and I came in about two minutes so I know its not any kind of physical problem.

Thanks,
Russ

First, I'm glad I found this site and even more happy that I had the nerve to post about the problems my BF was having with Lexapro, then was put on Effexor and told by a licensed psychiatrist that Effexor shouldn't present too much of a problem RE-wise.

Well, as you can see from my posts a couple pages back, I took the information I received in reply to my original posting, and gathered data about Lexapro and Effexor - all the clinical trial data and prescribing literature (mostly intended for physicians). I was so happy to show this information to my BF and prove to him that the Effexor, although he was told otherwise, was even worse regarding RE. I had an appointment late last week with my own psychiatrist (gee - wee al have one don't we?!?) who I see every 3-4 months for med reviews/scripts. As embarrassing as it was, i brought up the issues my BF was having and gave him the particulars. Needless to say, Dr. P was pretty stunned my BF would have been prescribed Effexor after the trouble he had with Lexapro. His advice to me was that BF should speak to his doctor about Serzone (better for anxiety I guess), or a Wellburtrin/Buspar combo as discussed on this forum.

Although my bf seemed glad that I put so much effort into and got that information for him, he was quite defensive about his doctor (mind you he had only seen this guy once) and seemed much less enthusiastic about other alternatives. We discussed the matter last Wednesday after I did some research, and again last Thursday after having spoke with my own doc. He only had 7 Effexors left and told me he'd call the doctor. He never bothered on Thursday, nor on Friday or even yesterday (Monday).

My feelings became very hurt as I see this as his not caring about making our life better. We had an argument over this last night - a very heated one I might add. He accused me of caring too much about sex. However, and I made it very clear to him, this really has much less to do with sex than it does commitment, love and intimacy.

This is a guy who says he wants to marry me/spend the rest of his life with me. He bought me one of the most beautiful engagement rings I've ever seen. But I can't help but feel extremely depressed about this whole RE mess and his unwillingness to deal with it (or wait until I insist - that's not how I want it).

He's definitely got other issues like spending too much time on details and not enough on the overall picture (if that makes any sense). He tends to lie (mostly through omission) or just tell people what they want to hear, can't stay focused on one thing too long, and is a bit of a controlling person and perfectionist.

I don't know what to make of this or how to feel confident in what his feelings are for me. Any words of advice?

Thanks in advance.

Archer, I was wondering why you married a woman you are not attracted to? I think this is very common, but I think it is more common for women to marry a men who they are not attracted to.

AMP1966, I'm really glad that you had the courage to post about your situation. I'm sorry that your BF doesn't appear to take your study and research on Effexor and its effect on some people by causing RE and/or some other sexual dysfunction as seriously as you had hoped for. This may just take a bit more time and patience then you may want to give right now even though the answer to his problem appears so clear and right in your mind.

Perhaps your BF has a problem some of us men (and some women for the matter) may have, like a bit of an ego problem or something like that when some significant other has an answer for us that we wanted to figure out on our own and are slow to accept the truth when it may be presented to us. This may be part of your boyfriend's problem right now. You know there's an old saying that goes like this, "A man (a person) convinced against his will is of the same opinion still".

I think that he will come around if you have the patience a little bit longer. Besides, this whole situation may be a real good opportunity for you two to work through something as difficult as this is for you in ways that will end up being a powerful learning experience for both of you before you ever "tie the knot". As you know, life never was promised to be easy and relationships take hard work, time and patience.

Good luck to you. I wish you well.