Situational Retarded Ejaculation

hello, im 21 yrs old, i first realized that i had a erectile problem when i was 19. I have only had two sexual partners, one a g/f for about 10 months. There has been times that I just could not get a erection, even after 5-10 minutes of blowjob. and lot of the times, I have to be laying down to have an erection for the intercourse. I would lose it if I try to start sex from the top. Once the girls on top, I can then get on top and start thrusting. But I would lose the erection after awhile, after feeling numb. I have never had an oragsm from sex, oral sex or a handjob. I have learned to masturbate infront of her(took a while). Now that shes dumped me and i dont have a sex partner, I dont know if I should start sex therapy.

I believe it is me being too used to the feeling of my hand. I go quite fast and hard. also its anxiety, I care too much abot satisfying her. And im also very self-conscious about my below average sized penis(4.5). recently I tried changing my masturbating habits. I was able to have an orgasm standing up and masturbating( im usualy laying or sitting) and also using lube and stimulating the head of my penis( to simulate the feeling of oral sex), and I wonder if it has to do with what I think about during masturbating, I never think about me doing something, its usually sex stories of my ex g/f(stuff shes told me that shes done in the past).

What do you guys think, should I see a sex therapist? I thought about buying a battery operated vagina to see if I can achieve an orgasm from that. I aslo have taken Stamina RX, which about 1/4 of the time, helped with the erection problems but not the orgasm. Any recommendations, advice? thank you!

Hi everybody!

Funnyguy, I'm in the same situation here, 19, she's my first partner. We've been having sex about 10 times. I never ejaculated. I easily ejaculate using my hand. I also tried masturbating in front of her, but i just lost erection after about 10 minutes of wanking (but she also gave me a blowjob and hand for about 20 minutes before that).

I doubt it's because i'm used to my hand, because I couldnt ejaculate using my hand while she was in bed with me.

If i stop masturbating for several days, I ejaculate while sleeping .

It's so depressing, I can ejaculate while sleeping, without touching my penis, but not with my HOT girlfriend.


I dont have erection problems. I learned to keep it hard (but i couldnt for the first few times), but i still have the numbness problem which many of you explained before.

I cannot afford therapist.
I hope someone can help.
Did ANYONE cure this problem?
Which anti-anxiety drugs should I Use?

one more thing:She REALLY turns me on. I can get erection if she only hugs me in a public place. Sometimes even holding hands can be enough.

I just cannot reach orgasm until she dries out.

Even though they may have some common causes such as performance anxiety, Retarded Ejaculation and psychogenic erectile problems are two completely different things.

Almost all erectile difficulties except those caused by some kinds of organic disease and lack of attraction/arousal for the partner can be easily cured with a prescription for Viagra.

Retarded Ejaculation, especially in severe cases is very difficult to cure.

Some less severe R.E. cases have been helped by drug combination therapy using Viagra and the anti depressent drug Wellbutrin. Some have been helped by the anti anxiety drug Buspar. However pharmacological cures don't work for most with R.E.

Those with erectile difficulties should understand that this thread is
about Retarded Ejaculation and NOT erectile difficulties. There are many, many websites devoted to E.D. and tons of information on the web.

For men who suffer with R.E. there is not much info available and few therapies that work. It's important that we keep this thread on topic as it is one of the only complete sources of info on RE anywhere. If we start discussing erectile problems it will just muddy the waters here.

Your understanding is appreciated.

I think the reasons for ED and RE are related for me, performance anxiety and pressure. But for this topics sake, I understand why we shoudnt talk about ED.
I tried to change my masturbating habits, since Im very sure that being too used to the feeling of your hand was the problem for not being able to reach orgasm. I usually grip my penis hard and go fast, which leads me to take frequent breaks. I tried to grab it softer but going non-stop. But when I did that I could not stay in the zone(my inspiration fantasies) because I usually think about stuff when Im taking the break and then go fast and hard. So my penis just went soft(see? related)
I also tried to imagine myself having sex while masturbating because I usually think about other peoples sex stories. Thi did not work out either, and soon I found myself thinking about the old stories that I normally masturabte to. I tried to stop just before I felt myself reaching climax, and then stopping for a second and then finishing off, so that Id have more control and understanding of my physical feelings. This didnt work out either, because when i stopped for a sex and told myself( I m going to cum now) and attempted to finish off I could not reach orgasm and found myself doing the same thing for 30 minutes which after I was barely able to finsih
So I believe if one can control his phsycial feelings and work closely with his partner while doing it he may fix this problem. THe things that Im curious about are....sould i take a physical test(measuring hormone) or go to sex therapist(is it worth it). are my attempts at self therapy through masturbation wrong ways to fix this problem( my right bicep is getting a lot bigger now)

Ok I've read articles about TMS.

Therapy is supposed to help people to orgasm by masturbating in "normal way".

They first have to STOP ALL MASTURBATION for a week or even more, until they're able to ejaculate by normal "jacking" instead of masturbating prone. This happens because penis becomes more sensitive after a week without masturbation.


Now, why wouldn't us people with RE stop masturbating until we became able to reach orgasm with intercourse.

I think this should cure us who said that "penis feels numb during intercourse".

I stopped all masturbation. I plan to have sex on wednesday evening. If i dont ejaculate, I'll try again next wednesday. BUT NO MASTURBATION IN MEANTIME.

I hope some of you will join me in this mission.
And sorry for my bad english. I hope you understand my words.

hm. interesting. im really curious about the fake vagina. supposedly it feels like a real vagina? and if RE is from performance anxiety then the person should have no problem achieving an orgasm with th fake one( since it cant be that much different from masturbating) If he is able to do it, he then should be able to make the trainsition from the fake on to the real one. anyone ever tried this?

I think it's the best way to check if your RE is psychical or physical disorder.

I will definatley give it a try. I hope someone else will try this kind of "test".

let me know how it goes!

Hello, this is my first post to this forum. Please have patience with me this first time around at least until I learn a bit more about my way around here.

I found this special forum for the first time about 10 days ago. This is a subject (situational retarded ejaculation) of great interest to me because I've also experienced retarded ejaculation and numbness intermittently over the last ten years and have spent many hours researching the subject on the internet and the National Library of Medicine at www.pubmed.gov.

It started rather abruptly when I was about 52-53 years old and it all begin for the first time in my life after I started taking antidepressants for a condition that I was supposed to have had called fibromyalgia and a related sleep problem. I was started on trazodone (which didn't help my pain syndrome) followed by amitriptyline (Elavil), citalopram (Celexa), venlafaxine (Effexor), and now bupropion SR (Wellbutrin) at 150 mg for the last 2 1/2 years. Celexa and Effexor caused the most problems before trying Wellbutrin. Going to Wellbutrin at 150 mg helped some but my RE problem definitely did not improve when I went up to 300 mg for a period of time. Now I'm back on 150 mg per day and the problem with RE and numbness has lessened but has not totally gone away.

In July 2003, I was also put on testosterone by using a 10% cream compounded by a local compounding pharmacy and have used it intermittently since then. It does not appear to have helped me in any significant way.

It turns out that pain in my shoulders and arms was not caused by fibromyalgia but rotator cuff disease, osteoarthritis and referred pain as well as a type of thyroid condition (with supposedly normal TSH values but low free T4 and free T3). Treatment began in July of 2003 with thyroid medication and small amounts of hydrocortisone (Cortef) and within 3 weeks, 90 percent of my pain was gone forever. In May of this year I had very successful surgery for a tear in my rotator cuff of my left shoulder and more of the remaining pain was resolved.

After reading all 26 pages of the posting on this forum, I thought that I would share some of my experiences as a preface to the following ideas and information that I found on the internet and pubmed.

To me the most interesting study on situational retarded ejaculation was just published in the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism on October 4, 2005. The 25 page study is entitled, Multicenter Study on the Prevalence of Sexual Symptoms in Male Hypo- and Hyperthyroid Patients by well known endocrine and sexology researchers from Italy. These are some quotes. "Ejaculation Latency Time ... for hypothyroid men it declined significantly, from 21.8+-2.1 to 7.4+-7.2 minutes. Thyroid stimulating hormone (TSH) and thyroid hormone levels normalized rapidly following treatment, and changes in circulating sex steriods partially reflected the changes in Sex Hormone Binding Globulin (SHBG) levels. Conclusions: In summary, most patients with thyroid hormone disorders experience some sexual dysfunctions, which can be reversed by normalizing thyroid hormone levels. In spite of the associated changes in sex hormone levels, the high prevalence of ejaculatory disorders and their prompt reversibility suggest a direct involvement of thyroid hormones in the physiology of ejaculation." This study is available without charge and can be downloaded.

LC Newman, SW Broner, and CL Lay have published an article in a journal, Neurology. 2005 Oct 25;65:( 8 )1333-4 entitled, Reversible Anorgasmia with Topiramate Therapy for Migraine. note: I can't read this 2 page article without paying a 1 day fee of $20 to access this article. It's too much! Topiramate (brand name: Topamax) is an anticonvulsant drug also used for migraine headaches. Supposedly it can be used off label for anorgasmia.

Several years ago I purchased a used copy of the book: Sexual Pharmacology: Drugs That Affect Sexual Functioning by Theresa L. Crenshaw and James P. Goldberg. The $75.00, 596 page book published in 1996 by Theresa L. Crenshaw and James P. Goldberg, eventhough dated has lots of information regarding medicinal drug use and ejaculation irregularities including retarded ejaculation and ejaculation without orgasm. For example, on page 274, it indicates that tricyclic antidepressants can cause negative sexual affects such as increased prolactin and increased serotonin as well as decreased oxytocin, histamine, cholinergic activity, beta-adrenergic activity. This book can be gotten as a used book on amazon.com at a price from $10.75-37.25 plus shipping. There are as many as 32 used or new ones available as of 11/28.

Bicycle seat neuropathy can cause temporary sexual problems after injury by compression of the pudendal nerve in the pelvis area. This is one of the more common injuries reported by cyclists. If this vascular or neurologic injury to the pudendal can happen in cyclists why can't it on occasion happen depending on where and how we use our pelvis and sit on our "buns"! On page 293, March 2001, Psychiatric Sevices, vol 52, no 3, Men's Sexual health After Midlife, delayed ejaculation, it says, "Peripheral nerve damage to the penis or damage at the level [of] the S2-4 [sacral] nerve roots can also delay orgasm."

I challenge all of us to make sure we work at determining whether our RE problems are psychological (depression, anxiety, social stressors), organic (arterial, venous), neurogenic (diabetes, herniated disk, alcoholism), hormonal (low testosterone, elevated prolactin, thyroid deficient), caused by trauma/injury or something else. There's so much to be discovered yet. Only the surface has been touched with RE.

One final comment. For your own curiosity, consider going to www.pubmed.gov, and type in retarded ejaculation, anorgasmia, ejaculatory latency or something similar with words like prolactin, oxytocin, vasopressin, testosterone, dopamine, SHBG, thyroid, hypothyroidism, iodine, selenium, ascorbic acid, cGMP, endorphins, cytokines, VIP, CRH, estrogen, ACTH, sleep apnea, nitric oxide and join me in seeing what we might find.