News of Venting Forum

that one nervous breakdown ruined everything. now online friends are all i have. its all a mess. i kept on making bad mistakes n wasted 3 years of life.

Dumb! why can't you do things right?
You always let them down

You're stupid, hell you even think
You used to have a shot.

You're nothing! All you ever were
Was filler in the pot

No one wants you, never did
And prob'ly never will.

The #######5 things you dream about
Would only drag them down.

What kind of selfish bitch are you?
To think that you'd deserve

To make something that's beautiful
Or that ...

trigger warning for suicide.







I really wish I could die sometimes. I can't cope with having to struggle all the time, having to inevitably struggle so much and be in so much pain even when there's here and there tiny good parts. I wish I had no family or friends who would suffer so that I could die free and without this horrible guilt. I really don't want to hurt them. what is the point ...

Ok, the disgusting thoughts left but now i'm stressing over my internship bc apparently i had to begin it IMMEDİATELY after the court internship. So now i'm going to begin WORKING (actually working!) in a law firm starting Monday! The worst thing is that the lawyer is a friend of my father so if there's a problem it could strain my father's relationship too. I'm so selfish that i didn't even think of that..I really ...

Yesterday I went to group finally because this week has been crazy. They lowered my clozapine dose significantly and I was planning on killing myself monday/tuesday was very aggitated wednesday and was hypomanic thursday/yesterday. I got back up to 200mg last night and I'm better but still something doesn't feel right.
I was talking about how I was suicidal and they asked me my plan. I was fantasizing about driving into the city and jumping ...

i just want to die. i have made a mess of my life n keep on blaming others for it. its all a mess. i regret the past all the time. it was all so mcuh better once, so much easier when i took things for granted.

WHAT IS THE EFFING POINT

EFF YOU ALL. JUST EFF OFF

hi,

i still remember when i was leaving the earlier firm, i had posted here and someone had said, 'don't do this....and some other words that were like i'll regret it.

and now yeah i regret it. after leaving the firm till now i have fallen miserable, done stuff that i regret more than i did earlier.

i dont even know what i want. maybe this is just a rant.

UGH!!!!!!!! I literally feel so sensitive and insecure and hurt and stupid.
So my boyfriend and I got back together and I just feel so emotional about the entire thing. Like I love him so much but not all of this love is coming out anymore because he hurt me so badly by leaving me in the past few months. He left me all alone and I felt so terrible and I wanted to die. ...

Hey all.
Really starting to like this forum; maybe it's because no one can reply to me or tell me how to feel..?
So, I started therapy over a year ago (14 months) and my parents are paying for it because I am in school. Every session includes a nearly $400 bill to my insurance, and a copay on my behalf. I go to therapy once or sometimes twice a week. I dunno. I love ...