I'm going to attempt to answer why people in abusive relations ignore help from the ones closest to them (family, friends, etc.). Actually this applies to people going through any sort of suffering that ignore help fro their family
This idea came to me after I was thinking about finishing college. My graduation date isnot too far from now. I was deciding what i'd do, and I told myself: I'm not going to invite my parents, or any family members. I said this because of the importance of the event. College graduation is considered one of the biggest moments in a persons life, most parents would never want to miss it. So, why would I not want my parents to come?
Well, I thought of the 3 other graduations i've had. 6th grade, 8th grade, and 12th grade. My parents did not come, nothing was stopping them form coming. Hell, they even ask about any of these, they did not value them. But i'm sure that they would value this one. I said to myself, why do they deserve to come to the most important one, when they whole heartily ignored all the rest. They've never been there for me in these situations, so why would I let them step foot in my life now? I'm used to being the only one who's alone at graduation, in fact, it's because of them that i'm always the odd one out, they created this.
I think this type of reasoning is at the core of people who stay in abusive relationships (or any sort of suffering), and refuse help from their family when they're in trouble.
Lets use the example of a girl in denial of an abusive relationship. It's logical that her family members want to help. But she always refuses their help, she even yells at them not to interfere. Why is this so? Well, maybe because in her mind, they've never been there for her when she was hurt. So they have no right to step in now that its at its breaking point. They'd rather suffer than acknowledge these ppl!
It's an ideology they've created in their minds, antagonizing the people who should have been there for them and refusing their help when they're in trouble even though its the only help they can get. It's a form of resent, no, i'd say even childish stubbornness. In the end they're only harming themselves.