Bull. I think you can choose who is and who is not your family the way you can choose your friends. It's your RELATIVES you can't always choose. The people you're related to.

If I could choose mine, it wouldn't be the ones I have. I'm unstable enough without people around me who have explosive tempers, refuse to acknowledge when they're wrong, and see no error in ways that make them unhappy AND drive away the ones who were raised to feel obligated to LOVE their stupid asses. In this case, me.

I'm tired of being accused of ridiculous things. Like threatening someone's life when I simply said I'm keeping my own mattress. Or refusing to take responsibility for my actions when I point out how I'm not the ONLY ONE contributing to a negative situation. Or being ungrateful because I didn't stand for being lied to (a lie that costed me hundreds of dollars that someone else spent on drugs). Or somehow consenting to violence against myself simply by saying, "You're wrong".

That is not family.

I so totally agree with you! You are absolutely right. The ones that make you feel save and allow you to be who you are with all your ups and downs, unconditionally, they make up your real family.