How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Some extra stressful stuff with work going on right now but I'm just too tired to find the Vent thread and too tired to get really angry about it anyways. Customer order was supposed to deliver today. Supplier is jumping through hoops to avoid admitting they lost or forgot the order. Now I gotta tell the customer it's not coming today. Maybe Friday, but like. who knows?

So I'm stressed. Its like we let the customer down and it wasn't even our fault. Someone else dropped the ball but I gotta deliver the bad news and I dunno why we take it so personally or whatever.

Also, apparently we forgot to buy enuf groceries for the week and we're outta food now and I'm too tired to go shopping so we're probably gonna make some Bad Decisions about what to eat.

Crazy thing is I had to go out earlier today to the pharmacy to get some vitamins and supplements. Musta 'blanked out' on the way there cos suddenly I realized we were in the grocery store parkinglot and was like "wait, why are we here? It wasn't on the list was it?"

So apparently someone knew we needed food but I wasn't listening or they weren't being loud enough to get through to my sleepy brain.

Maybe gonna be a coward and email the customer the bad news then turn off our phone and ignore the outside world for the rest of the day lol.

V2

So V2's supposed to go and see the mother today. She was supposed to call the mother yesterday to like, make the arrangements or whatever.

But before she gets around to making the phone call, suddenly I'm fronting and she's not. And now it's morning and I'm still here and she's not.

I think she's hiding from the mother? I think she doesn't wanna see the woman cos she knows Mike's on a hair trigger right now with her and maybe she's worried he's gonna make it a confrontation.

Now I'm like, do I gotta do this? I really don't wanna deal with the woman. I've met her before but I don't enjoy it. And I think if Mike wants to do his thing, it doesn't matter whether its V2 or me, he's gonna come out if he wants to, whoever's there.

So I dunno. Maybe I should just go and let him do his thing, get it over with.

I just really don't want to go lol. It's a pain in the arse having to drive all that way and stuff just to see someone I don't particularily like.

(I'm trying to get V2 to come back, playing her music and stuff, but its not working. )

Viola

Viola, maybe this is a dumb question, but what happens if you don't go?

Hey Gang,

Not a dumb question at all. Normally it'd just be hurt feelings. We needed to get her to sign some stuff tho... old business that we're dissolving but her name's on it so it needed her signature.

So I went. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. She's still kinda annoying and stuff in general but she only said a couple dumb annoying things.

Biggest surprise to me was she actually realized I wasn't V2. Like she asked, like uncertain, something like "you're not [v2]...are you?"

So I told her who I was and stuff, and asked how she could tell. Cos I'm kinda curious about it. Like, the 'outside person' perspective on it. She couldn't really say, like she couldn't say anything specific, just that she knew something was 'off'.

I showed her a couple selfies on our phone, like me, V2, and Melissa, and the mother was like OMG at how different we all look 'side by side' lol.

Viola

p.s. I'm pretty sure V2 is hiding cos she was afraid if she went that Mike was gonna take over. Like she thought if she refused to front then we wouldn't go and then Mike wouldn't have an opportunity to tell her what's on his mind.

today sucks badly. inside was noisy all night, I woke up with facial pain. and flashbacks and Inside is a mess and our home could use some attention and there are two more stressful appointments this week. I just want to sleep forever.

Doing my best to allow the others to carry me and help me through my "ahhh paniiiic" moments.

Long story short, a month ago I agreeded to meet with "abuse-allower" for lunch and chat and stuff. I thought it was the mature and adult thing to do... *facepalm* O BOI I was wrong. He spent a lot of time saying that *abuser* was forgiving me WTF? And asked me to come visit "abuser" and stay at her place and sleep at her place. I said "I'll think about it" *facepalm² *

So, a month and an email from "abuse-allower" later (again with the forgiveness crap), X and van H. fed me with anger and courage so I wrote back to "abuse-allower" telling him WTF and to ###$ off.

And now I'm bracing for the consequences of daring to tell him to ###$ off. And I'm on a rollercoaster of anxiety, from which the others do their best to make me climb off, and aboard which I climb up again every time I look at my e-mail box. Which is why they are feeding me up with anger each time I open the e-mail box. And now instead of being scared brainless by my e-mails, I'm angry at them.

So I guess I'm being... in a weird state?

--Zami--

Not feeling very grounded today.

Charity and others

I am still nursing this beast of a cold.

plans to sell my car have been arranged.

ambulatory EEG tomorrow.

beach next weekend.

hoping my house gets repaired soon. (minor hurricane damage)

roads go ever on......

Good luck on all fronts, BeccaBee.

Our T called us this afternoon and said that we'd have to Skype tonight because she wasn't feeling well enough to come into the office. Well, at least she's up to Skyping.

Charity and others

BeccaBee, we hope you're feeling better soon! And hope you get your house fixed soon too!

MDs, good luck with your T tonight.

We saw our T today and it felt like a super short session, like we just talked about yesterday being stressful and waking up today with our memories all scrambled up again. Then we talked a little about stuff to try 'in the future' and then it was over.

Exhausted again now as usual.

V2