Yesterday Viola was fronting and had something happen 1st thing in the morning. Met a cat that might have been lost. Or maybe not. She wrote about it in the
How are you today thread.
Looking back afterwards we can kinda see that some littles were triggered by the idea that the kitty might be lost & alone & stuff, it brought up a bunch of old memories and old hurts and stuff that I guess have never ever been resolved and stuff.
Viola didn't really recognize it at first, like she's usually sorta immune or isolated from most of that stuff? Like she's the one who takes over for the rest of us when we're all overwhelmed so its wierd for her to be the one feeling all that stuff.

We also had T yesterday, cos our regular Wednesday session was postponed cos our T was at a conference or something. Viola almost forgot about that but luckily we always have lots of reminders and stuff lol. So obviously the session started with talking about the kitty and all the mixed up feelings and stuff.
Then stuff kinda got wierder for her (Viola) cos the T was asking like how does the situation with the cat reflect stuff for our life, whats the first time we can remember feeling x or y or z kinda stuff. What was wierd is like first Viola's like "well we don't have good communication still so its really hard to answer some of this stuff."
But then she started getting stuff, from like deep inside. She said it was like she was only half in the room with the T and half somewhere else, like infront of a sort of deep dark foggy place somewhere inside.
She started being like a translator or whatever, the T would ask a question and then from that deep dark place, there'd be like a word or two, a jumble of emotions, maybe some images or something, and Viola would translate all that into outside-talk, so she could answer the T.
Viola said it felt really wierd and strange, like she had to kind of let go a little of herself so she could be open to that stuff, like to feel it and allow it to come through her? But at the same time she could feel resistance or reluctance, like maybe someone else was trying to stop it. Thoughts like 'dont say too much', 'dont say that', 'keep that a secret'.
And there was also some feeling of relief, like someone in there was going 'omg finally shes listening to us and were getting somewhere'. And then other feelings, probably her own, like 'omg this is really wierd and this isn't my thing v2 or arin should be doing this'.
She did say to the T it felt really wierd and stuff but she doesn't think she explained it right, like why it was wierd to her. The session was really powerful tho. A lot of dark 'secret' stuff came up to the surface, stuff that's been buried a long time. Not all of it was like, bad stuff. Most of it really was more like, just 'random' memories and stuff. Factual stuff, like stripped of the emotional side?
*** trigger warning - alcohol abuse ***
I'm allowed to share one thing that came up. Apparently the first time we started drinking regularily, and drinking a lot (like to pass out) was when we were in grade 5, so around 9 or 10 years old... We don't know why tho, like what got us started doing that. The T said it meant something, like 'children who drink at that age blah blah blah blah'. Whatever she said got forgotten but it seemed meaningful to her.

*** end trigger warning ***
But Viola says the T seemed to think alot of it was really important. Like, more pieces to the puzzle. She says the T was taking a lot of notes during the session. She doesn't always do that but I guess it was enough big stuff she was writing it all down...

Afterwards Viola got home and was like completely drained and exhausted, so nothing else got done yesterday lol. I got lots of housework and chores and stuff to do today lol.
V2 (with help from Viola & others)