How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Thanks Tortoiseshell!

It's kinda funny to think of a horrible flashback as progress, but I think it is - because we knew what it was, and V1 was even able to deal with it more or less, with grounding and mindfullness. It still sucked of course, but was way better than all the times in the past when we didnt even know what was happening.

That sounds really rough, having your abusers so close. I'm sorry you're in that position. I hope that despite the nearness, you are still safe?

-V2

Violet 1 and 2,

Your evening sounds like it was so relaxing. I think someone in here wants to take a bubble bath!

I'm noticing a pattern in myself of having a difficult day or few days, during which I try to ramp up the self-care, followed by some kind of insight or more awareness about how my system works.

I'm feeling kind of confused today, though, about what exactly constitutes a flashback, and also how I would know whether or not crying and feeling upset about something that happened means that I'm processing it, and therefore it's a productive kind of crying (as in working through something and getting past it), or if it's just the same spinning-my-wheels kind of upset/crying that it feels like I've spent so much time doing in my life.

Actually, I think I'll make a separate thread about this.

birdsong87,

That sounds great! I'm glad things are going better.

Birdsong and VioletFlux, glad for each of you making progress.

Finally got some rest after being exhausted all week. Seeing another apartment tomorrow. And on Monday we have to take our brother to the hospital for surgery.

It's always something.

MDs

MakersDozn wrote:It's always something.

MDs

so true

Things have been a bit of a disaster in recent days. We ended up in hospital Thursday afternoon and ended up staying for two nights. We'd had an important appointment that day which ended up being disastrous and that put us over the edge into despair and an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. The intent was to have what my psychiatrist calls a stabilization stay in hospital to calm our selves and give us time to recover from crises.

This did not happen. What was intended to be stabilizing was anything but. To begin with they took away our cell phone which meant we couldn't listen to music, which we do pretty much constantly while away from home (and while at home for that matter). Then a nearby patient became dramatically distraught which we found very triggering, leaving us in our bed curled up with Duffy. A positive; the nursing staff gave me a little portable DVD player with headphones, which helped to muffle the nearby noise. Another positive was that after I'd repeatedly explained how we need our music they relented and allowed us our cell phone with our headphones. Yay for compassionate staff!

We spent one night in the ER and the next day. Late on the second night, at 03h00, they moved us upstairs to the Mental Health floor. At that time the nearby distraught patient was in extreme distress (the noise woke us up) which was nearly intolerable.

The next day we saw our psychiatrist who, at our request, discharged us and let us go home. We were feeling that we'd be better off at home with our kitty and in our own bed and were not nearly as suicidal as we were when admitted.

So, it is one day later and we are at the coffee shop, updating our blog (which is now 300 000 words as of late last night!), and coming here!

finding clear signs of amnesia and time loss. and a lot of them.
for us it always gets difficult weeks before the bunny holiday.

Holidays can be rough. About the only holiday we like is All Hallows Eve. We had trauma therapy tonight and managed to actually contact our newest Alter, a little named Aura!!!!! It was very difficult and challenging work and we are soooooo exhausted now and will be having a bubble bath when we get home. We see our psychiatrist tomorrow and are not at all looking forward to it. boo hiss.

May be AFK for a few days. Taking care of our brother as he recuperates from surgery. We'll check in here when we can.

Play nice.

MDs

MDs - best wishes for your brother's swift recovery!

Thanks, Daria. So far, so good.

MDs