How are you today thread (trigger warning)

we have been dissociating frequently for some time now. We feel floaty and fuzzy so often one might look at it as our default setting. Switching to a child part of self has been also a regular occurrence, which ends up being exhausting. Our appetite is still spotty at best, and our sleep irregular due to our constant fatigue making us have long naps. We have trauma therapy tonight which we are looking forward to.

havent been around much. Feeling overwhelmed but ok I guess. I miss a lot of things. hoping to reconnect with a few things.

Survived our medical test ok today. There was lots of anxiety leading up to it. The place wasn't far so I walked, and it was a bit too cold and blustery but we managed. By the time I got there, I was pretty much alone. I think everyone else was hiding.

The tests went fine, it was totally No Big Deal (though getting the results next week might be a different story.)

Earlier this evening I did some meditation to try and reach V1 again. She's been gone since Friday, I've been all alone out front and I am getting tired. So, I didn't hear from her directly but I was shown some images of places / activities she really enjoys. I'm not sure if she's dreaming about that stuff, or she wants to go and do that stuff now, but it's stuff that has to wait till it's warm out.

Anyways, it was progress, at least getting some communication.

Now it's bed time!

-V2

SamsLand wrote:havent been around much. Feeling overwhelmed but ok I guess. I miss a lot of things. hoping to reconnect with a few things.

Hi Samsland,

I've been wondering if you were ok. When you're around, you're such a helpful voice on here.

Sorry that you've been feeling overwhelmed.

the Gang

good to hear from you samsland

we are all in rant mood.
except maybe Maya. She is talking about dinosaurs and star cookies.
everyone else is somewhere between mad and exploding.
life. people. the world. ahhhhhh

I'm anxious. I have had bad anxiety the past few days.

I have a friend who is trying to help me out of my depression and anxiety by doing things. We were supposed to go on a long walk tomorrow, but then my dad asked me to come to his house and so I canceled on my friend.

I get nervous when I'm going to my dad's house. I didn't talk to him for 11 years. He has a lot to do with why I split, and it's hard to separate the person he is now from the person he used to be when I was little. He's very kind now, but when I see him it usually sets my parts in an uproar. Fortunately I have therapy on Sundays so if things are too bad we can work on them then. I don't want to live my life without him in it, but my whole system goes into an uproar sometimes when I've seen him.

J

Stay safe comevuoi, your dad may seem nice enough now but the others are obviously trying to tell you something.

Hi birdsong87,

Let Maya know she can come tell my littles all about dinosaurs and star cookies on the littles thread! Sorry the rest of you are feeling angry.

Hi J,

That sounds very triggering for a lot of you, trading a self-care thing for spending time with your dad. I hope it goes well.


We saw the T this morning, and we won't see him again for 2 weeks because he'll be away. Today went really well though, so everyone is feeling ok. I have to be careful not to think about it too much, because when I start to feel too good about the process, or about the T, someone eventually finds something that he said or didn't say, did or didn't do, to be upset about. Or if they really can't, then we start contrasting it to the bad therapy that we had, and getting upset about how much that hurt us. The pull to return to the familiar, "comfortable" state of being upset and hopeless is so strong.

Since I can't stand typical jobs (working at fast food places/department stores) and the last few jobs really messed with my anxiety/depression we decided to try and figure out something amongst ourselves to make it easier to hold up a job (especially the one we just got as it pays almost double what our previous jobs have). So what we ended up deciding is Akane will be the one working, he likes being around and working with people and enjoys making people happy. I'll let him state his own opinions from here.
~Alex

I'm super happy to be working! I wasn't able to at previous jobs (I'm still not really good at mimicking Alex's voice, so I stand out when I'm out) because Alex was the one who did all the interviews and said hi to everyone at first. This time since we had decided this before we got the job I was able to be the one who went to interviews and the first day training! I seemed to make a good impression on the boss too! I'm really excited! I just wish it wasn't night shift, but that was picked both because of college classes during the day and for times I wouldn't be able to work (since Alex prefers less people and is more of a night person than I am).
~Akane