How are you today thread (trigger warning)

Woot MDs!!!

we hear you ponyta and fireheart.

I think I had better quality of sleep so hoping today is a good day.

Just wanted to let you know that we are ok. we are just not posting/reading much because our attention span is low and we struggle to keep up with everyone.
Annett wants us to spend less time online, so we are trying.

fireheart wrote:MDs, so will you be going to Taco Bell?

Well, we learned today that, at least here in the US, banks don't cash tax-refund checks. Not even for $21.41. If you can't trust the government, who can you trust? (/sarcasm)

So we had to deposit the check and make a cash withdrawal in the same amount. We were trying to avoid making this overly complicated, but we've been thwarted by stoopidity.

No Taco Bell, at least for now.

Laura and others
__________

fireheart wrote:I'm struggling with staying emotionally grounded. I feel like I have to be, in order to be good at my job. There is no choice. But that approach forms a ridge between trauma parts and daily life parts, because either of those times feel "unreal" to the other party.

We're sorry you're struggling, fireheart. We experience the dichotomy you mention here, and the chasm that results. It's even harder for trauma-holding insiders who also have to deal with daily life. For those of us who are adults dealing with both, walking away from one or the other is absolutely not an option.

Hoping that things get better for you soon.

Charity and others

good to hear from you birdsong.

MDs. bwahahahahahahhahahahahahahahah. uncle sam writing them rubber checks LOL!!!

Hey all. I've been reading, but not responding much. Busy, leaving on a trip tomorrow, but also still upset and processing what happened with my T last week.

It just seems like too much of an effort to make a thread for it here, or even to email the T about it. I think the hardest thing is when there's a big disconnect with the T and he doesn't even realize it. We're just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole process.

Maybe it isn't worth working SO hard to get another person to try to understand your experience, because in the end, all they know is their own experience--just who they think you are. Not who you really are.

I have to pack tonight, and do a bunch of chores, and get up really early tomorrow to drive to the airport. I should also email the T--but that will take so much time, and we'll be crying through the whole thing. And then we'll be waiting for a response. I'm just so tired of repeating this over and over. I don't need therapy to be ADDING so much stress to my life.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Hey all. I've been reading, but not responding much. Busy, leaving on a trip tomorrow, but also still upset and processing what happened with my T last week.

It just seems like too much of an effort to make a thread for it here, or even to email the T about it. I think the hardest thing is when there's a big disconnect with the T and he doesn't even realize it. We're just feeling kind of hopeless about the whole process.

Maybe it isn't worth working SO hard to get another person to try to understand your experience, because in the end, all they know is their own experience--just who they think you are. Not who you really are.

I have to pack tonight, and do a bunch of chores, and get up really early tomorrow to drive to the airport. I should also email the T--but that will take so much time, and we'll be crying through the whole thing. And then we'll be waiting for a response. I'm just so tired of repeating this over and over. I don't need therapy to be ADDING so much stress to my life.

That makes alot of sense to me right now. I'm the best writter so I've had to take the flashbacks Paul wrote down for the fragmented parts trapped in trauma and make them readable to others. Paul writes to us about the parts and what he witnessed through flashbacks them experiencing. He couldn't write all of it down because it was even too distressing for him. I'm copying and pasting and changing the pro-nouns and it's awful. So I can't imagine having to go over and over stuff whether it's who's who in the system - because I find that incredibly cringey and embarrassing even - or over and over trauma stuff. It must be horrible. Beth

Hi,

I came out and talked to our new T today. It was an accident. I wasn't going to EVER talk to her. She's not our REAL T. She's just a stupid F-ing replacement! I HATE her! I HATE MYSELF FOR TALKING TO HER! That was so STUPID and DISLOYAL! How could I do something so F-ING WRONG!!! I love our old T and miss her so much and just want her back. I'm a STUPID piece of SH*T! I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I shouldn't even be writing this.

Iain

we hear you man.

Hey Gang - maybe for now it's ok to just like focus on yourselves & the trip. Try to have some fun when you're away and stuff. Deal with the T stuff after you get back? Good luck.

Hey Iain - sorry that happened. I hope you don't beat yourself up too much about it. You're not stupid tho, I think you're a really smart guy, from all the stuff you've written on here since we joined. And FWIW, I kinda think your T who got sick, would want you to talk to the new one when you're ready and comfortable.

Viola

Hey, Beth—thanks for your reply. It isn’t about trauma stuff or who’s who in the system; it’s about the T completely misunderstanding our interaction last week. It feels like he’s so much inside his beliefs and feelings, that he can’t see past that to how things really feel to us. And it happens a lot. Most of the time, he’ll try to change his representation of us so that it matches more closely with who we are, but this last time it collided with a strong belief of his that contradicted us directly and kind of shut us down. He did change his mind, but then he thought that why he changed his mind was the important part, when it wasn’t to us at all.

That’s good advice, Viola—thanks. We thought we were would spend the plane flight writing to him, but relaxing, enjoying the trip, and dealing with it Monday sounds like a much better idea.

Hey, Iain—you didn’t do anything wrong and you’re NOT stupid. Repeat that 50 times please.
Seriously though, it’s not an either-or thing. You can have all your feelings about the old T, and about the situation, and ALSO have a new T who is good and can help you. It’s nothing against the old T to also talk to the new one.