I trusted my husband with all my being. I never thought he would cheat on me. I thought being his first love and mother of his first son made us stronger..forever strong. I didn't know that his encouragement to go sew something beautidul was really saying GO AWAY SO I CAN SPEND TIME WITH KAY. I had no idea my loyal husnad kept sending me out of the room to talk to her.
I didn't realize they chat right in front of me all the time.
I didn't realize I meant so little to my husband.
I thought he was better than that.

I am not in my right mind if I think my husband is anything but faithful. I have a self destruct issue after hearing from people in my family. Having sexual abuse from my brothers and father has given me many trust issues with men. This might be my self destruct issues and trust issues more than my husband talking to some girl.

I understand where and why I feel betrayal now. Seeing my husband show understanding and compassion to someone else when I try constantly to get it and can't-. I need understanding and positive comments. I get little of that and a check list a mile wide of what I haven't done right. There is not a good balance between positive and negative reactions, comments and statements. Saying your not capable of being understanding and then being that way with someone else feels like betrayal to me. That's why I am hurt.

Not to mention that my lovey nick name I gave him he used to create accounts to talk to her-and was stupid enough to test it with my phone number. Its tragic. he took so much from me and has admitted nothing. How can I heal with no regret or words of mending our love. makes me shake and cry and wonder why when I give him my life.. WE CANT-MY DAUGHTER AND I CANT EVEN CALL KAYLEE KAY ANYMORE because all we can think of is..how wrong telling another woman you think of her always..and so much more-is something that got me no remorse from you..