What the ###$ is wrong with me. What am I doing. I have never had so little control over my thoughts or my feelings. I know what I have to do: there are no other choices, all other roads are closed. Why can't my heart resign itself? Why do my thoughts keep spinning over and over the same ground, hoping for a different answer? I don't know how to feel, how I should feel. What if he was right about me? What if it's true, that I'm obsessive, a stalker, a creepy girl? I don't want to be that, I don't ever want to make anyone feel afraid of me. To be another person trying to steal something that he hasn't offered. I thought I was better than that, I did but I don't know what the hell to do with these feelings. I miss him, I miss being near him, I missing talking to him, there is this huge emptiness where he was. Everyone says to move on but nobody says how. How do I make my heart stop hurting, how do I forget? Time and space and looking always at the horizon. Okay. Okay. Don't look back. One foot forward.