I know the exact same thing that happened with SW is happening again. I can feel it, the way I can always feel things. I wish I couldn't feel such things; it's like being Cassandra.

Why is is that men think they are doing you a favor by not telling you? Do they think you won't notice the sudden distance? The strange, vague evasiveness? The uncharacteristically terse messages? He always promised he would tell me. It is so much worse, not knowing, because you don't know whether to give up or not. You don't know if you're imagining things. But this feels so familiar.

Dear God,
I know I don't believe in you or anything so I have no right to ask any favors. All I ask is that he please, please tell me the truth. Please let him trust me not to lose my mind. I can handle the disappointment but I can't handle not knowing. If I know I can move on. Please, please don't make me ask him like I had to with SW. That was one of the saddest things I've ever had to do. Please let me know so I can go and live my life amen. Thank you.