Most of the time, I think nothing of success; success in life, in it's broadest sense. It means nothing to me. For one, let's consider the odds..... few people ever achieve a state that can truly be considered "successful." Even those who are successful in terms of wealth and prosperity, peoples' problems arise from the very beginning, and so rarely do they reach their demise free of unresolved issues. So, if we take a look at that few who ever achieve true success, how many of them were anything like me at any point? What portion of the victorious - a slim margin of the population as it is - lived the first pair of decades of their life struggling with issues no easier than mine? .......... So, that basically summarizes the odds of me becoming an accomplished person, truly, purely, authentically "accomplished."

"But that's self-doubt, and self-doubt is your enemy. You should never give up, no matter how hopeless things look." ---- Oh, you think so?

I often consider the overwhelming possibility of all this misery continuing without end for so many years. There is absolutely no guarantee that if I live to be 80 (please, do NOT let me live that long), things won't be so bad, as they are now. If all that lies ahead is more of this, more of the same agony, then will I look back in my final days and say "this was worth fighting for"? Of course not! It wouldn't be worth it unless all this weight on my shoulders - eventually, at some time or another - relented. Or..... would it? Let's not forget what we are, as mankind..... we are one step away from inanimate objects, and that step is sentience. We're animate objects, basically. Just remove the "in." When we're laid to eternal rest beneath six feet of dirt, nothing matters anymore because we're no longer here for anything to matter. Write a story, then crumble it up and toss it in the fire, it becomes nothing.