I still haven't gotten over it. You can't give someone such a valuable gift that can't be matched by anything else in the world, then take it away and expect them to be fine with it. But, that sounds like an accusation. Why did we ever get that close, anyway? After all, I'd known for months in advance that this was likely to happen, and I didn't even expect myself to take it roughly. For the last few weeks, I've had no incentive to message J at all. Occasionally I get this sense of ethical obligation to break the silence, but I keep changing my mind every time, and in part, it's because I doubt how much she actually cares. Am I really closing off someone who genuinely cares about me just because I feel disconnected, or has she taken to exaggerating her concern just so I don't feel upset that she doesn't really care about me that much anymore?

This is a badly written paragraph, my writing fluency is much at the mercy of my mood and as the title implies, I'm not well and I'm just too burnt out to give a damn anyway.