Done living this lie

(Since this is a new page, here: **TRIGGER WARNING- ARGUING*)

What, her boyfriend that fully believes in her lies as well? Where would that get me? (And no, I'm actually not trying to be mean, I'm just pointing out how it probably won't help much).

Maybe he could share something with you that'd help you or you could share something with him that could help him? Communication, like you're trying to get here, is always a good try. Have you tried talking to him much? I'm sorry if you feel my suggestion is stupid, but this thread obviously hasn't helped too much for neither Cassandra nor you, as nothing has been resolved.

I don't talk to him 'cause he's not my boyfriend and it's not like I know him that well, nor do I care if I do or not. And he fully believes in her lies, I already know he won't listen to or agree with anything I say.


You know what? F*#k it. If she wants to live her lies, she can do that. I'll just walk away and get on with the rest of my life. F*#king tired of this bullsh*t anyway.

Alright then. It was just a suggestion Best of luck going forward.

*Trigger Warning*

I don't want this on here anymore I just want it to stop and go away.....

This text is mean and they don't really follow the forum rules and I don't want anyone to hate me for causing drama or being triggering or anything..... It's not me.....

spanky_spee wrote:If you are really cassandras friend from the outside world can you please take this argument else where. email or something else.this place is supposed to be a supportive place. it has it's drama but this is a loose support network for some.

I'm sorry, spankyspee, I didn't mean to bring any drama here or anything.....



I want them to leave the forum and stop but I don't want them to ever leave permanently.... But that's what they said they would do if I didn't stop lying.....

I can't have them leave....I don't want them to leave....I guess I'm going to have to stop lying....

tylas wrote:I have not read the whole thread, but it's still going on, so I thought I would pop in and see if I could help. So.... the question I assume is... do you have DID?

This is always a good question and one that everyone with DID probably asks themselves.

Instead try asking yourself this. What else could it be besides DID? Remember that DID is simply a label that means that those with this mental disorder have several dissociated parts of their personality that do not function well together and to one extreme of the other feel they are independent from the others.

At this point I honestly don't know......
I can easily see how it could be compulsive lying mixed with a need for attention that just never stopped.....I can easily see how I could be making myself "fit" this disorder and how I could be making myself believe it since I would've been pretending and lying for so long....I can easily see the pink text being completely correct.....so I have no honest idea.....


-Cassandra

The simplest preliminary test is this: Is the pink text you? If it is not you, it would be someone else - e.g an alter - e.g you probably have DDNOS-1 or DID.

Thing is I don't exactly want it to be me.....so it could still be true....I could not want to face myself so much that I've been hiding behind these masks and such so that I don't have to face the type of person I really am....

-Cassandra


Yup, you're such a horrible person for not making us up and for having at least DDNOS-1 if not DID.

-KAT

Yeah, 'cause I get absolutely nothing out of it by making you guys up and pretending. It's not like being able to say "that wasn't me" hasn't gotten me out of taking responsibility and sh*t like that before. So, it's not that hard to believe that by now it's impulsive and reflexive, since it worked so well to get me attention I wasn't getting at home and in getting me out of trouble with people.

-Cassandra


Alright, that's IT. I'm tired of this bullsh*t!

**TRIGGER WARNING- ARGUING/FIGHTING**

Here, pinky, pinky, pinky! Come out to play!

-KAT

Do you remember writing it? How would it help you to out yourself if you really just wanted it to stay hidden? I'm not asking to pry, just asking to see if maybe something clicks for you so you can get the answers you need, one way or another

Kat, you do not have permission to approach this situation in this way, especially after Rain reprimanded you about it last time.
F*#k you, newbie! I can do whatever I want! You can't tell me what to do!
Nope, I can't, and I wouldn't dream of doing so either. I was simply stating a fact, because you don't have permission from either Rain or the counsel to proceed in this way.
F*#kings*nofab*tchingc*#ks*#%ingm*therf*#kers.
Just present your case and be willing to not proceed with this alone. I'm sure that there will be more approval of your methods if they're tweaked a bit.
Fine. -KAT
Thank you. ~The Hawk

-- Thu Dec 20, 2012 2:46 pm --

lifelongthing wrote:Do you remember writing it? How would it help you to out yourself if you really just wanted it to stay hidden? I'm not asking to pry, just asking to see if maybe something clicks for you so you can get the answers you need, one way or another

I'm afraid this isn't an easy question to answer. It's hard to tell if Cassandra remembers writing it because that memory is stored somewhere, so it can be accessed via "group memory storage" if Cassandra truly wants to remember it or if she's prompted by a question (since that presents a type of need to remember it). Not only that, but Cassandra wouldn't want to remember writing this if it was part of "her" memories, so I'm sure she would've blocked it to some extent anyway.

Thank you for trying to help, by the way, to you(Lifelongthing) and to everyone else who has tried to help us.


~The Hawk

Well was worth trying No one can tell any of you whether or not you have DDNOS-1/DID without a diagnosis, but one can see where the signs point. I hope you guys figure this out. Best of luck.