Done living this lie

Is their name a tip for you as to what they might have experienced or who they are?

Just a thought.

Best of luck with this.

This is what everyone said:

First off, I am glad to hear that Walk_Alone has agreed to come to the meetings.

We have a Normal in our system, who we just got into a big argument with. Thankfully, it’s resolved now. That was the thread “Arguments”, but our Normal didn’t write in the thread. I should make the disclaimer that we don’t get along particularly well even now but…

Our Normal’s job is to be Normal, and if he can’t be normal, he’s out of a job. Not being Normal threatens his Existence, see? We have a lots easier time trying to convince him of stuff when we can convince him that it doesn’t interfere with him being Normal (or at least interferes less than something else we might do). Sort of like a temporary work-around.

We also have a lot easier time working with our Normal when we let him talk about what he wants, etc., too. He doesn’t like just “being preached at”, which we’d probably do if he let us. We don’t like letting him talk, though, ‘cause what he says makes us mad ‘cause it’s in direct opposition to what we are/think. But it’s important because how can you come to an agreement unless both sides know what the other wants? That’s hard, and we can’t keep the argument straight in anyone’s head (which is why we end up arguing on paper). It also helps if there’s a neutral party who can act as peacemaker. (But that’s really, really hard. We had someone who thought they were neutral and really weren’t at all, and that just p***ed off our Normal even more.)

We also had a discussion about why it’s important to be Normal. What happens if we’re not? And we found out that being Normal is about protecting us. For us, the circumstances have changed, so some of the objections our Normal raised weren’t relevant anymore. But our Normal wasn’t aware of those changes until we told him. Our Normal still isn’t happy with what we’ve done, but he has agreed to watch and see and not interfere. And for us, that’s progress (considering how paranoid he is). I think that was the best we could hope for right now.

I also want to write here that there are a lot of reasons that we wish we could be more like our Normal. There are also a lot of reasons why that isn’t possible/healthy for us. We have recently realised those reasons. Can you see why that might p*** our Normal off? He isn’t idolised anymore. We don’t collude with him anymore.

Why are you trying to convince Walk_Alone that DID could be a possibility? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be confrontational because I honestly do think that DID makes sense for you all, but it is worth clarifying your own goals for this situation too.

Very good thoughts michiru. It helped me think about some things, too. Thanks.

*Ignoring everything else for now*

*To Cassandra*:
WHERE THE F*#K DO YOU GET OFF POSTING MY F*#KING NAME ON HERE??!!!

DELETE THAT SH*T RIGHT THE F*#K NOW!! DELETE THE WHOLE F*#KING POST!! I'LL PM A MOD MYSELF AND REPORT YOU!! F*#K YOU!!!!!



See, you say that, but-
Hush, Kat. One does not need to state the obvious every time. *sigh* How I wish posts could be edited at any time...
Sorry.... I think that was me that dropped the ball on that one... I didn't know their actual name was in there! I thought they'd be like "Little Ryan" and have like, a name/title they were known by, and then a real name that gets found out later or something.... Sorry....

michiru7422 wrote:This is what everyone said:

First off, I am glad to hear that Big Ryan/Walk_Alone has agreed to come to the meetings.

Why are you trying to convince him that DID could be a possibility? I'm sorry. I don't mean to be confrontational because I honestly do think that DID makes sense for you all, but it is worth clarifying your own goals for this situation too.

Thank you for your reply. We can understand what you've said about Normal and how that can apply to our situation with Walk_Alone.

Walk_Alone hasn't agree to come to the meetings. They're brought to them. So...kinda forced to go to them.

(We're not sure if Walk_Alone is male or female, just so that's known).

We're trying to convince Walk_Alone that DID could at least be a possibility because they're the ones always telling Cassandra that this is all a lie, she's lying, she's faking, it's all for attention, etc. And then Cassandra goes and starts believing Walk_Alone and doubting us, and then denial starts and Cassandra tries to ignore us and be "normal", and it's just a sh*t-cycle that needs to be stopped if possible. That, and Walk_Alone is very strongly suspected to be abusing "Little Ryan" in the system, and we can't really address that inside abuse unless we're all closer to being on the same page.

We don't believe that the issues with denial and doubt will stop if we're able to get Walk_Alone closer to being on the same page as us, but we do believe it'll help our struggles with them immensely, and we know it would help Cassandra to not hear that she's lying and faking all the time from Walk_Alone. (Cassandra is the only one Walk_Alone talks to (outside of the meetings), and she's the only one that can hear them for the most part).

lifelongthing wrote:Is their name a tip for you as to what they might have experienced or who they are?

Just a thought.

Best of luck with this.

Thank you.
All the name does is give us greater suspicion that this is a father introject, and tells us that their experiences most likely consist of times with our father, but that's about it. (And apparently, we won't be posting that name anymore...)


~A mixture of us

Just wanted to say the best of luck and we're thinking of you.

oaktree wrote:To Walk_Alone.

(I hope it's OK to call you with that name, if you're not okay with it, just say so.)

** might be confrontational **

I have a question. Whether you believe you're part of Cassandra etc. or not, can you maybe tell what would happen if it were the case? I.e. what would happen if you found out the DID/DDNOS-1 is real and that Cassandra is, well, not the only one in her head, so to say?

Since Walk_Alone was my username when I tried to make my own account, I'm fine with being addressed by that.

If the DDNOS/DID is real (which it's not because there was no trauma, and everyone says there needs to be trauma for this condition to be real), then allow me to state the obvious: I'd look like an @$$, and her "alters" would be free to act as "they" please, including taunting me about how I was wrong and letting me know how "they" feel about me and things I say ("they" have done this before but Cassandra usually ends up apologizing profusely for "them", or holding "them" back, or censoring out what "they" want to say. If it's all real and I "suddenly see the light" , then there's no real need for Cassandra to do those things, or for her "alters" to let her do them).

It would also mean that there's no blame or any reason Cassandra can fix by herself for being "unstable" and unable to function like a normal person. Basically, it would mean Cassandra's "stuck" for a bit, without help, and without any way to get herself better to where she can actually have a f*#king job and a life and be an adult. For her sake, I hope she is lying. Lying she can stop herself. She can't get herself "unstuck", or at least not completely, if she is "stuck" (which she's not, she just thinks she is).

-- Tue Jan 29, 2013 3:51 pm --

lifelongthing wrote:Just wanted to say the best of luck and we're thinking of you.

(Thank you. ~A mixture of us)

@Walk_Alone: I am sorry for my mischaracterizations of you and my unauthorized use of your name. I have edited my previous post to reflect this knowledge.

That message was not meant for you, it was meant for Cassandra. Because without her, you wouldn't have learned/known my name. And you didn't know I didn't want that information posted, so my anger is not directed at you, as nothing in this situation is any fault of your's.

I do thank you, though, for taking the time to edit your post.

Others had a different post written before, but it was way long and pointless, so I'm shortening it. I'm also moving parts of their response to the Venting about amnesias thread.

@Walk_Alone: The short of it is that that's not true. We knew everything before Cassandra posted it. Don't ask us how. Probably the post you asked her to delete before. It's just that our memory is funny, so even though we know these things, we can't keep it straight.

So I'm sorry. Please don't blame Cassandra for all of it. It sounds like she is having difficulty right now, and I think she and everyone else could really use your help. Even if you said you don't care anymore. Whatever they are, Rain and everyone else are trying to support her too. They want to get to know you too, and if you all could work in common... I know that it's not necessarily something you are interested in.

You are kind to be so concerned about Cassandra.