Vacation and Packing Advice

So super stressful time coming... Friday afternoon we leave for a vacation... gonna be gone until a week from the following Sunday (getting home on the 22nd).

So like it's with wife's sister and her fam, and a family friend... so us, the wife, the sister in-law, her husband, and three kids (F 13, F 11, M 6) and a family friend and best friend of sis in-law.

So like from Friday afternoon when we leave (in two cars) until we get home... almost NO alone time or way to hide we're switching and having like 25-35 hours of OUR time over the week.

Last week, wife asked Zor "Can we possibly leave the pink stuffed pony toy here when we go to Florida?" And herein lies the prob and where I want advice...

So like we see two things happening if we leave it...
1) We luck out. No nightmares or bad dreams. Nothing upsets Chloe (who it belongs to)... she doesn't wake up looking for it ALL WEEK LONG.
2) We have bad dreams at some point (or several nights)... or she wakes up looking for it, can't find it, and we don't sleep well cuz of one of these... and that makes EVERYTHING harder and more stressful cuz being tired and unsettled...

If we bring it... we risk upsetting wife who DOESN'T wanna accept us already... who is uncomfortable with the toy and having it in bed at all... and like THAT causes ire...
If we don't we might garner a little "see we can compromise" support with her, but IDK...

I mean, if we don't bring it and it gets bad, we'll be close to Disney (going to Universal Studios in Orlando, plan to do Downtown Disney one evening)... We always COULD get a plushie of like Tigger or something (which Chloe- and several others of us girls- would love)... and this could be a "see, told you it helps and is important" kinda "lesson" for the wife... but at the cost of stress, ire, not sleeping, etc.

What do you guys think? Is it worth the risk, with the "safety net" of likely being able to get something else as a "stand in" or "second" toy (cuz long run, it'd be another one for us to have at home), and a chance to show her it's not just "silly little girl stuff" but like NEEDED and beneficial theraputic for us?!
Or do we just risk irritating her and setting her hostile and insisting we bring it "just in case" to preempt any possible bad nights?

{\Pixie/}

you are asking for packing advice but I wonder if it wouldn't be better to ask for relationship advice.

Bring the stuffy! Is it Pinkie Pie? Bring Pinkie Pie!

-Melissa

Last September we had to spend a couple days in hospital and Melissa wanted us to bring her little Twilight Sparkle stuffy.

I didn't want us to cos I was worried it'd get lost, or it'd just be like in the way, we'd leave it in the overnight bag and it'd just be taking up room, and anyways Melissa wasn't supposed to come out at the hospital at all so why would she/we need it?

From the moment we got outta surgery and into our room, that little stuffy never left our side, and almost never left our hand lol.

I know a vacation is way different from a hospital visit. But still - strange bed, strange environment, far from home... just bring the stuffy.

V2

p.s. I think Asti's comment is right on the money too.

Bring what you need to feel good and safe. Ask and tell your wife to respect your packings. No one else in the family has to see it if you dont want to just leave it in the private room or your suitcase and take it out when needed.

The needs of traumatized littles need to come before the preferences of adults. You don’t sacrifice a kid’s needs to show that you can “compromise” (when compromise just means knuckling under to your wife’s bullying). Does your wife never need comforting for anything? Can she relate at all to the needs of a child for a familiar object to hold?

Are you taking this trip only out of obligation, or is there anything enjoyable for you to look forward to??

If it were me I'd bring my stuffie and get a new one at Disneyland!

I agree with everyone! Bring the cute pony, buy another one, and if your wife does not agree with it... relationship therapy! She gotta ask herself if she loves you, or the idea she has of the perfect you...

~Theia~

tough love here.

1. you NEED alone time. as much as you need to sleep, eat, or toilet. when vacations are planned, quiet time needs to be scheduled in.

2. you have a right to bring your pony. SO can ask you to be discreet, but is asking too much of you to leave it. believe me. NOT having it will cause anxiety. (whether you are aware or no)

3. I think its long overdue that you stand up for yourself and your needs

this has become a repetitive theme for you, do you know that? I mean that nicely.....I have the bad amnesia and I dont always recognize my own patterns.

imho, your SO is the one who needs to bend to compromise. I'm tired of her giving you $#%^ every single ######6 trip, event, family thing. and then it stresses you about stressing her

support is a 2 way street. of course nobody on the board has the whole picture. just snippets.

FWIW- vacation and packing advice is the title of your post. I clicked it to tell you to make sure you bring your stuffy. (before I even read the post). so my two most important pieces of travel advice are:

bring your stuffy and have alone time.

the two things your SO doesnt want you to do. so I have to ask. does she have a ######6 clue?? I'm sorry to be mad but I feel like your needs are being disrespected and it's really pissing me off.

oh and definitely get a new stuffy if you are going to disney!!!!!!!!!!!!

zor littles dont got nobody but you to stand up for them.
is big problem when littles dont get needs met. you need be strong for them. and her needs be nice to littles or go away. love you, bye! have fun at Disney but please take your stuffy. is very important. very very very important.

Beccabees list is good. I was gonna say "it's your pony so take it" but she said more and much better. Wishing you have a fun time. Mandy and Paul

I appreciate Pixie asking and her willingness to "accommodate" and "compromise" but the more _I_ have thought about it, the more I've seen the need to bring it...

Five mornings in a row (counting today) I've woken up with it... I don't ever go to bed with it (have just once or twice feeling someone "close" needing it- almost certainly Chloe- once when we were sick a week or two ago).

Most days I wake up with it are coincidentally the nights I've slept better... I track sleep on a log when I get up- when I woke up, how many times, how well rested I feel, etc. Something a sleep doc started me doing about 10 years ago... and it's a good "tracker" for me and easy to look back over... So I've kept up with it... and I've taken to adding a "T" next to the "sleep quality" number for mornings I wake up with the toy... and it's 3-5 nights a week, as many as 5-6 nights in a row is not uncommon.

Given this is going to be a bit more stressful a week, breaking our schedule and routine... and will have less "alone" time and "quiet" time will be a premium... ANYTHING to comfort and soothe at the end of the day, to sleep better, is a necessity. IDK what my wife will say, but she'll have to just accept it and get over it. I don't want to irritate her or make her uncomfortable, but NOT bringing it will make things, everything, harder the longer it is without it and it's needed... and THAT will cause things that will accomplish what I'd be trying to avoid by not bringing it. Better to do it and minimize other risk, stress, discomfort, and hurt...