Vacation and Packing Advice

Allcoulors wrote:Think thats a good idea! Hope you all will have a nice vacation!

Thanks! We hope to have a lot of fun (it's Universal Orlando with the AMAZING Harry Potter stuff- it'll be fun)... despite the stress and stuff.

We'll be mostly unable to post here (these forums are a NIGHTMARE on a mobile browser), but we can manage to read... will TRY and post and update if we need to. But if you don't hear, assume all is decent.

we hope you all have a good vacation zor.

do you remember the beastie boys? while I was reading the rest of your thread I kept thinking.....

you gotta fight!

for your right!

to PO-NAY!!!

Zor, I just read your wife was mistaken for a man because of her short hair - it's really funny but also amazing double standards on your wife's part.

I used to chat to alot of crossdressers online - I liked to support them because alot of them his it and lived secret lives. And I said I see it as a double standard. I have male parts, they accept they're in a female body and it's not an issue clothes wise because women can wear men's clothes which is probably the reason I see the double standard more clearly and why I do believe it's unfair.

I also have a part, Paul, who believed he was a crossdresser. When he realised he was in a female body he had mixed emotions. Firstly he had to get over he's not a man. Secondly it meant he's not a crossdresser because he's in a woman's body so wearing women's clothes is socially acceptable. He was actually very upset he isn't a crossdresser. I don't fully understand that but to him how he looked as a man wearing women's clothes is more attractive than how the body actually looks. It's not a weight issue it's a "he thinks men look better in women's clothes than women do" which again brings me back to "who decides this nonsense" Clothes are clothes, they are to cover the body and all clothing styles can be worn by either gender - that's how I see it. And it's also how parts of my system cope.

I got changed after work one time - I have to wear steal toe caps and protective clothing. Usually I get changed at home but one time I got changed at work. The guy I work with said "you got changed and you like.. a boy, Sara, you look like a boy still" I hadn't really thought about it, because I don't have to I guess, but he was right. And i think the world is off kilter the way it views clothing. One of male alters has got so used to showing up and we're already wearing a dress that it doesn't bother him at all. "Ok wearing a pink fluffy jumper. I got this... I'm a woman, it's ok. Nobody is looking thinking why's that guy in pink" was how he used to talk his way to being ok about it. But you don't have that luxury being in a male body and I really feel for you on that.

Sarandipity wrote:Zor, I just read your wife was mistaken for a man because of her short hair - it's really funny but also amazing double standards on your wife's part.

I used to chat to alot of crossdressers online - I liked to support them because alot of them his it and lived secret lives. And I said I see it as a double standard. I have male parts, they accept they're in a female body and it's not an issue clothes wise because women can wear men's clothes which is probably the reason I see the double standard more clearly and why I do believe it's unfair.

I also have a part, Paul, who believed he was a crossdresser. When he realised he was in a female body he had mixed emotions. Firstly he had to get over he's not a man. Secondly it meant he's not a crossdresser because he's in a woman's body so wearing women's clothes is socially acceptable. He was actually very upset he isn't a crossdresser. I don't fully understand that but to him how he looked as a man wearing women's clothes is more attractive than how the body actually looks. It's not a weight issue it's a "he thinks men look better in women's clothes than women do" which again brings me back to "who decides this nonsense" Clothes are clothes, they are to cover the body and all clothing styles can be worn by either gender - that's how I see it. And it's also how parts of my system cope.

I got changed after work one time - I have to wear steal toe caps and protective clothing. Usually I get changed at home but one time I got changed at work. The guy I work with said "you got changed and you like.. a boy, Sara, you look like a boy still" I hadn't really thought about it, because I don't have to I guess, but he was right. And i think the world is off kilter the way it views clothing. One of male alters has got so used to showing up and we're already wearing a dress that it doesn't bother him at all. "Ok wearing a pink fluffy jumper. I got this... I'm a woman, it's ok. Nobody is looking thinking why's that guy in pink" was how he used to talk his way to being ok about it. But you don't have that luxury being in a male body and I really feel for you on that.

Yeah, she was... a teen girl asked us for advice on how to "be ourselves" publicly. She is Bi and struggling... and she mistook my wife and I for gay men (after confirming we were a couple). LOL And yes, we didn't tell her and crush or embarrass her. We answered her question as best we could, telling her she needs to first live to please and comfort herself, second only to God (she wore a necklace with a cross on it) and within some reason her parents (given her age and living at home)... but ultimately she needs to be true to herself and not other people... Ironic that came so easily from my wife... LOL

So cross dressing is NOT my thing. I have zero interest or desire... but I couldn't care less if others do it. Whatever... honestly if a person gets so hung up on seeing a guy in a skirt that they can't talk to the person without disdain in their mind, that is sad and says a lot about that person- not the guy.

It IS sad that there's some truth to "women can't cross dress" since they CAN wear mens clothes without shame or ridicule... and that it's a "one way" street. I wish society weren't so ignorant about THAT. Maybe someone could and would make skirts or dresses that are made for the male body shape and things like clothing would become expression than "defining".

Thanks for that closing line- we DON'T have that luxury of freedom in a male body as girls, female body, have. It WOULD make life easier. While _I_ don't have interest in a skirts or dresses, there ARE days I feel like I'd be wearing one- not b/c of me, but b/c someone is close and would like to... and I'd LOVE to let them have that freedom or to give them that... even if it meant "suffering" wearing it a while myself... I'd be willing to compromise some (given the style, length, etc- no super short minis, kiddie looking, or something too girlish in look and pattern I guess) even when _I_ was out... or not freaking out and changing immediately. I'd try and be more understanding and patient about it- it IS just clothing, after all... but yeah, with my wife, where we live, her family (and some of our friends)... that's a definite "no go".
If we lived in somewhere more... "open" to that lifestyle and she and others were open to it, I think this would be less of an issue... but we're in the middle of the "Bible belt" and well... sadly things like this, even for mental health and LEGITIMATE reasons... and there's a lot of "this is what the Bible says, b/c we have said so for centuries" (despite it DOES NOT condemn a man in a skirt- it says "don't dress up to APPEAR as a woman/man if you're not" - so don't put on airs to FOOL people... a man that clearly IS A MAN in a skirt is NOT what it's talking about at all in context). It is what it is, and it's a fight to slowly engage.
Honestly, if it were to become a "front line" kind of battle and she'd see the girls out in a skirt, I think it would be a breaking point and massive hostility issue for my wife right now. Tragically.

Yes, i heard it is a massive issue in the Bible belt. I know that because of this one guy I chatted to online. He was taunted and abused physically too and had to move because it got so bad. He eventually did find more accepting people and a job where the people didn't care what he wore and was much happier. I haven't spoken to him for ages because that website shut. I'm hoping he's still doing ok.

You'll get to a point you want to get to at some point, I believe you will. Whether it's a compromise or some kind of revelation from your wife or some sort of life changing experience - you'll get to where you want to be, wherever that turns out to be. I believe in you. Much luck and have a great time on holiday

On my telephone so have to copy paste what beccabee wrote..
do you remember the beastie boys? while I was reading the rest of your thread I kept thinking.....

you gotta fight!

for your right!

to PO-NAY!!!

I cannot stop laughing

Allcoulors wrote:On my telephone so have to copy paste what beccabee wrote..
do you remember the beastie boys? while I was reading the rest of your thread I kept thinking.....

you gotta fight!

for your right!

to PO-NAY!!!

I cannot stop laughing

ha ha ha... HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

That is HILARIOUS! Thank you so much for that!

I am packing the bag that will have the pony, our bullet journal, and daily notebook journal this morning (we leave in a few hours).

That totally made our day- you have Pixie rolling inside, too! LOL

And I am like kinda miffed... he decided to leave it at the last minute on the assurances of his wife that SHE could be comforting... Yeah, cuz history has proven THAT to be the case...

She'd BETTER come through... or I'm gonna be really disappointed and upset.

I swear, one of these days it's gonna come to head between like she and I... cuz of this... I'm biting my tongue, trying to be peaceful and NOT rock the boat... trying to do all I can for her to have like time to come around... but for real, she NEEDS to give a little, too... or it's never gonna work. It will never help us get better, be more whole, be more like... US... and not just the kinda beat down PART she wants to control. THAT isn't healthy. >:(

{\Pixie/}

Zor wrote:And I am like kinda miffed... he decided to leave it at the last minute on the assurances of his wife that SHE could be comforting... Yeah, cuz history has proven THAT to be the case...

{\Pixie/}

What the actual f*ck?? Zor didn't take the pony?? How is his wife going to comfort CHLOE if she doesn't acknowledge her right to exist??? It's not about comforting ZOR. We're furious on Chloe's behalf.

I hope that you guys go straight to the gift shop and buy a LARGE Tigger as soon as you get there.

Sorry for saying this (sorry not sorry), but his wife sounds about as comforting as a porcupine.

--NoName

TheGangsAllHere wrote:

Zor wrote:And I am like kinda miffed... he decided to leave it at the last minute on the assurances of his wife that SHE could be comforting... Yeah, cuz history has proven THAT to be the case...

{\Pixie/}

What the actual f*ck?? Zor didn't take the pony?? How is his wife going to comfort CHLOE if she doesn't acknowledge her right to exist??? It's not about comforting ZOR. We're furious on Chloe's behalf.

I hope that you guys go straight to the gift shop and buy a LARGE Tigger as soon as you get there.

Sorry for saying this (sorry not sorry), but his wife sounds about as comforting as a porcupine.

--NoName

This.

We're really sorry, Pixie and all.

MDs