TheGangsAllHere wrote:Anyway, I hope this thread can get back on track, because the purpose was to support Chloe, and to support Zor and Pixie in supporting her.
Zor and Pixie, I hope things are going ok so far on your trip.
When you end your message to a statement like this, you are trying to manipulate our chance to answer back, so you will have the last word. You make it look like we were the one who started talking about things between you and I, and are stopping the thread from continuing, when we weren't, and that's untrue. That's not fine with us. We know all subtle and not so subtle ways to make things look like something they are not.
We didn't wrote our message to you, but to comment on what's going on in here in general. We did not try to control the way you respond to us, we said you don't have to agree or do anything because of our message, which we think is something obvious, Sami did not think needs to be said aloud so everyone understands. When he says things short and simple, it's about the content. When his sentences start to be delicate, he's most likely pissed off, because words are his weapon. You don't need to remember or understand that, I didn't tell it for that. I told it so you know it's not an attack, when it's all about the content. You will notice the difference if he actually fights you, but he has never fought you, and is not likely to do that in future either. You are reading emotions that were never there.
He writes to people who understand what he says, and does not explain. He does not like me to explain, but this time I do, because I do think it was too important to go not understood.
This is not a thread about packing advice, and it never was. We weren't the one who changed it to something else, it was something else from the original post.
There are many people in here trying to give wake up calls. The best way to predict what's gonna happen is look at the past. Has advice asked and given before actually changed anything? No, it has not. But it has made you feel you are part of the story you in reality are not.
It's the exact same question and answer month after month. Person who doesn't understand what boundaries are, is asking advice on how to cope with something. The answer always is: by having boundaries. Sometimes it's detailed advice, sometimes more vague. Every time person or few tries to give the wake up call. We were the first one to try.
It doesn't matter how angry you get. Do you believe their marriage started to be abusive only after they were diagnosed? I don't. You can continue running around in circles all you want, but it will not teach someone, who doesn't have a concept about what boundaries are, to magically learn to have and keep them against someone who has used them for years. It doesn't mean there's no hope for them. It just means you can not control it. All that there is for other people to do or say, has been done and said already.
As long as you are emotionally involved in someone else's life, you are gonna believe the same thing millions before you did too. This time what they have to say is gonna change the game. I can see you don't have experience of taking care of people with addictions or people in abusive relationships. I do. 40 years of it. And now, I'm not emotionally involved anymore. I get angry all by myself but I do not repeat myself anymore. You are in a phase where you are gonna repeat yourself many many times again. If that's where you are, I'm not gonna be emotionally involved in it either. It is not healthy to be emotionally involved for long periods of time in someone else's life, that you do not have any control over. But there's nothing I can do to make you see it if you don't want to.
If it does not start to wear you out, all is good and our message was not meant for someone like you. It was meat to someone like us, who has been used before and is easily usable in ways that are not healthy for anyone.
There's a little somewhere, who may get upset because she doesn't have her toy at the moment for few days. It's not that big deal you people are making it to be, pages after pages angry people thinking they can, and need to safe Chloe. At the same time we are being suicidal, but does anyone care? No. Does anyone care if I tell it's all littles, and I don't have much reasons left to resist it anymore? No. Because Chloe needs a toy, and that's what important in here. You all know it's not about her or the toy, those are symbols to something that gets under your skin. At least I hope so. I don't wanna believe littles in here are actually having that big difference in their value. They do get treated very differently tho.
And what's most important, we don't think you are helpful for them at all. Because you are so emotionally involved, and it is still their life. We have payed our dues to learn this, and we say it to help all involved. When peer support gets under your skin, it's not supportive. There are traps to be aware of, when people who all have severe emotional problems start doing things together.
I did not say they are not allowed to have threads like this, now or in future. I did not say people are not allowed to answer them. I did not say anything is done out of anyone's bad intention. I say this to make sure you do not put words to my mouth I never said or meant.
I try to resist need to come see what has been said to us because of this, because there's more problems for us we can handle without any attacks, and we already know that is what's gonna happen. So I guess you are gonna have your last word now.
Flor
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