Journey Thread: Ponyta (Ups & Downs)

Had another really crazy dream last night.......Not sure what that is about.....I mentioned the names of a bunch of the others too when I was talking to someone......Can't remember all of the details though......

Feeling very depressed today and lonely feeling. Not sure where all of my "inner friends" are right now....I can't feel any of them...Normally Weirdo is close-by. I think they are blocking me from the inner world right now for some reason (Not sure why).......The trouble-making ones are tormenting me again today (Even as I write this). Very depressed.

Ponyta wrote:I think they are blocking me from the inner world right now for some reason (Not sure why).......The trouble-making ones are tormenting me again today (Even as I write this).

Very possible you are blocked as a way to protect you from the troublemakers, (it isnt uncommon to be separated like that when there is trouble) except that the troublemakers wins some fights and gets thru too.
Hope Weirdo and the guys manage to get control soon so it can be better again..

TeddyBear the helper wrote:

Ponyta wrote:I think they are blocking me from the inner world right now for some reason (Not sure why).......The trouble-making ones are tormenting me again today (Even as I write this).

Very possible you are blocked as a way to protect you from the troublemakers, (it isnt uncommon to be separated like that when there is trouble) except that the troublemakers wins some fights and gets thru too.
Hope Weirdo and the guys manage to get control soon so it can be better again..

Thank you!

I think they got it under control for now....which is good. I can see them again today.... so the block was removed.

The troublemakers left me alone for most of the day......BUT I do have one of the WORST headaches EVER right now.......(It's across the forehead to both sides. It even wraps around the back of my head.) So THAT'S NOT COOL.

I could write more.....but the headache is WAY TOO BAD right now.

Ponyta wrote:BUT I do have one of the WORST headaches EVER right now.......(It's across the forehead to both sides. It even wraps around the back of my head.) So THAT'S NOT COOL.

I could write more.....but the headache is WAY TOO BAD right now.

Change causes headaches, if there is a big change then it will be a big heache too, but it will pass

Ponyta wrote:Had another really crazy dream last night.......Not sure what that is about.....I mentioned the names of a bunch of the others too when I was talking to someone......Can't remember all of the details though......

Feeling very depressed today and lonely feeling. Not sure where all of my "inner friends" are right now....I can't feel any of them...Normally Weirdo is close-by. I think they are blocking me from the inner world right now for some reason (Not sure why).......The trouble-making ones are tormenting me again today (Even as I write this). Very depressed.

That's not good, I hope you can take it easy. Maybe they too are having a sad day. Sending you hugs!!!

J!

Thank you TeddyBear the helper and J! My headache is better today thankfully.


How I feel right Now:

Long entry today......sorry


Today was interesting.....Feel like I'm losing my mind (with bad denial feelings again)....but I feel happy because of what happened in the inner world. Bandit invited me to his party (in the inner world)....well he invited a lot of my personalities. All of my protectors and all of my "inner" friends.....plus some others I didn't meet yet. It was a really nice party......

Well halfway through the party he got everyone's attention and told me he wanted to ask me something. Well it seriously caught me off guard......being that he asked me to marry him. I feel crazy saying this.....but I told him yes. I feel really happy....plus he is really happy.....so that's cool I guess.....but yet I feel like I'm losing my mind being that he is a part of me (they all are).....so yeah part of me feels torn. My protector Wolverine is really happy for me. My other protector, Weirdo, is a little worried though because he thinks I won't spend as much time with him like I used to. Both of them are my brothers in the inner world.

Not sure what Brian's and Blaze's opinion is though....they're my other protectors. They don't say much to me. I do know that a lot of my "inner" friends are very happy for me and told me congratulations. Romeo and Freedom were really happy and congratulated us. David and Yondu smiled at me....So they are happy as well. Although there are a few of my friends who looked shocked by my answer. Not sure why exactly......maybe because of how bad Bandit used to be.

I used to be beyond disgusted by the thought of being anywhere near Bandit. His behavior was that repulsive. So it's probably a shock to my friends how my feelings changed......It's even shocking to me. Well I really began to like Bandit more when he quit all of his bad trouble-making behavior. I liked him EVEN MORE when he protected me from a bunch of trouble-making ones.....so I guess that had a lot to do with changing how I felt. Plus he came over and tried to cheer me up when I was sad multiple times. He made me laugh the very first time he came over with flowers. It actually did cheer me up. So he is a nice guy.


I know that I'm going to regret writing this soon though.....because the trouble-making ones will get on my case about it and tell me that I'm CRAZY.....but despite that I'm still posting this because I feel happy. I feel like this choice is helping us heal.....so it is a good choice. Plus the feeling I get when Bandit is around is a wonderful comforting feeling. I feel safe and happy.....so that's good. Right? I think so anyway.

Hi Ponyta,

Congratulations. I'm glad you're feeling safe and happy. I hope things with Bandit continue to work out, and the others don't get too troublesome about things.

Violet

VioletFlux wrote:Hi Ponyta,

Congratulations. I'm glad you're feeling safe and happy. I hope things with Bandit continue to work out, and the others don't get too troublesome about things.

Violet

Thank you very much! I greatly appreciate it!

Congratulations!! That’s wonderful news, and I’m glad most of the others are being supportive. I’m very happy for you!

A choice that feels healthy and healing is always a good one, even if some parts feel scared and try to convince you otherwise.

TheGangsAllHere wrote:Congratulations!! That’s wonderful news, and I’m glad most of the others are being supportive. I’m very happy for you!

A choice that feels healthy and healing is always a good one, even if some parts feel scared and try to convince you otherwise.

Thank you! I greatly appreciate it!