How are you today thread (trigger warning)

happy and playful is really good to hear!

& Wrath (our headmate, not the emotion) wants to skin our T alive. Can't blame him.

& She gave us once again another proof of her old-school psycho-analysis studies, and her unwillingness to learn about something else. She cares not for our system, who we are. She cares not for the Guidelines for the treatment of DID. She only wants to focus on the stuff she learnt at school, that is: listening, taking notes, and silently judging that we have some sort of psychosis, hysteria, delusion... that makes us role-play different alters, and makes us behave autistically.

& The pee on top of the poo cake, is that the trauma specialists in our area, don't do DID. Furthermore, only one of them spacializes in trauma: the other ones are "life coaches" and "couple therapists" and the like, and do trauma work on the side because, why not? Brings in more (pigeons) clients!

& Which means that, we gotta do our therapy plan ourselves, and do our therapy ourselves.

& Being able to rely on oneself only starts to get old, really. Good thing you guys are here to support us!

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Urielle

WTF Urielle. Your T is clueless. I'd rather have a lifecoach who cares than a T who's into pathologizing everything in sight.

Colin

{Wrath} Big mood, Colin. It is infuriating to see how clueless "therapists" are in our country. It is nice to have someone listening without judgement to whatever we throw at them, but, we also need the person to help us.

We found someone who could give us informations regarding possible DID-related T's in our area. We have an appointment with this person in a couple of weeks.

We still have strong emotions of distress at the idea of setting down our boundaries with the psycho-analyst and telling her that we're done. The feelings of guilt are intense. They are problematic.

We need to work on those.

Thanks for listening and for the support.
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Wrath

Besides everything that has happened I have always slept quite well, even so that is abnormal, I usually pass out the second I close my eyes.

Now I can't. For a couple of weeks I have struggled to fall asleep, and when I do, I wake up two or four hours after and can't fall back to sleep. I even stopped my ADD meds for a while, tho it has never caused me any problems with sleep, but it didn't work. I'm starting to get rly desperate since this is all quite new to me.

The main reason for this are flashbacks about pass events, disturbing thoughts, excessive guilt, etc. I'm familiar with mindfullness and all that $#%^ but now they're so strong they aggressively push between my thoughts and relaxation exercises like I have no control over them. Well it has been a quite stressfull year for many reasons, but it's weird how it's NOW a problem since my life is starting to find it's path again..

Hang in there Wraith. You don't need the guilt. You're paying for the service. If it's not the right service then F- them.

It's getting close to Xmas. The system is on red alert like always. This year we're getting close to better. Not better but close.

Went to pick up a special lunch today and there were people sitting in the restaurant! No masks or anything. Un-F-ing-beliveable! We grabbed our stuff and headed out fast. No wonder we're at Level 5 here today. Jesus! Are these people morons or have a death-wish or what?

Colin

{Wrath} This year most of the system is in deep denial of Christmans happening. We have absolutely nothing planned for this evening, appart maybe for Pride (little me) to open up his surprise unicorn pouches. Which might be why I am overly active lately : Pride (little me) is restless and impatient for his unicorns, but we need a grown-up to take care of the house chores.

{Wrath} Usually, starting december 15th the whole system is in red alert. Not this year. This year, we just... Don't care. We sent care-packages to friends, recieved none so far. Parents announced sending money to us in the form of vouchers, recieved 10% of what they announced so far. It's like Christmas is not real.

{Wrath} Some of us are frustrated that we missed Yule but, we tend to miss all our pagan celebrations due to switches and time loss so it becomes some sort of habit.

{Wrath} So we will just... keep doing things the usual way, and forget about the date. It's better than getting stressed out and triggered all the time.

Hope everyone is doing ok today--whether you're celebrating or just getting by.

Take care of yourselves--you're all important and valuable. <3

we've been triggered repeatedly by some online stuff for the last couple days now, making it really hard to function.

in the meantime we got a really good example of how some littles / insiders have no idea how time works.

we went online & ordered something for them, it says it'll deliver in 2 or 3 days, thats fine. then as soon as the order went thru & we got the confirmation email, they expected the thing to be here.

like we already had some idea they don't know the difference between past & present, i guess now we know future & present are also the same? idk. its just wierd, like i know its gonna take 2 or 3 days but there's this constant background assumption that its already here & they want it now

we hope everyone else is doing ok

viola

Yes I have noticed that in children (children children, not alts)- no understanding that it takes time to go from point A, to point B.