How are you today thread (trigger warning)

*trigger warning? social anxiety*
Today was my 10th day without smoking, and I think I'm about to "give up giving up." I just can't handle it. I know smoking doesn't really relieve anxiety, but heck it helps. I guess for a "sane" person it wouldn't be this difficult.
I've had some kind of panic attack lots of times. I've been more co-conscious than usual. I remember one day, hearing Chris yell that people was staring at us and that we had to go or they would kill us with their laugh.
Each time I hear something, I freak out. I really never felt that before. It's like I'm afraid that is somebody laughing at me.
Curious, I never was this afraid. Perhaps I'm integrating with Chris or something?
Or perhaps it's just co-conscioussness?
Anyway, I think I'm going to smoke again tomorrow.
Tom

Yay, yay, finally I will be able to smoke!
I can't wait to text my friends and ask them to hang out with the excuse of smoking!
Alex

There's too much going on. Too much pain, too much sadness, too many memories coming back, too many 'Souls' stepping forwards at once. We're being flooded and we're being swept away by it. How can we keep our heads above the torrent.
People want us medicated, yah, I understand that. Don't suggest it to us though, it brings out some of the darker members of our system that need the f***ing meds.
We're running around behind ourselves trying to clean up the destruction we leave in our wake.

I feel like someone took a bulldozer to the wall of our sanity.
-Amy-

Hey Amy,
I m sorry you feel this rough.
Safe hugs if wanted.
Minnie

Bought cigarettes today.
Feel human again
*trigger warning - "self-harm"*
I was thinking if cigarettes can be considered self-harm.

We are not doing so good...

***TRIGGER WARNING****

One of my Littles is very suicidal right now. She is 9yrs old and wants to commit suicide by "reenacting" one of the ways she was abused. She was tortured by drowning and recitation in the bathtub. She wants to take sleeping pills and go to sleep in the tub. She feels she should have died and wants to finish the job. She has sooo much pain and despair.

We have a 24 hr system pact of no suicide, but she is so desperate to be free of pain. The other Littles are terrified she will do it.

****TRIGGER DONE****

Help???

VanessaG wrote:We are not doing so good...

***TRIGGER WARNING****

One of my Littles is very suicidal right now. She is 9yrs old and wants to commit suicide by "reenacting" one of the ways she was abused. She was tortured by drowning and recitation in the bathtub. She wants to take sleeping pills and go to sleep in the tub. She feels she should have died and wants to finish the job. She has sooo much pain and despair.

We have a 24 hr system pact of no suicide, but she is so desperate to be free of pain. The other Littles are terrified she will do it.

****TRIGGER DONE****

Help???

Hi - and welcome if you're new, I don't remember reading you before!
Are you diagnosed with DID and/or do you go to therapy? Seeking for professional help is the best option in this situation, IMO.
*triger warning - pre-defined roles* Do you have some kind of gatekeeper alter, who can control who "takes control"? If so, you could manage to not let the suicidal little take control until you fix it. */trigger warning*
Anyway, if any of you think that the suicidal little is about to do something that you will regret, PLEASE go to the ER!
You could also ask her why does she want to "finish the job". Tell her about all the things she will be missing if she dies. Show her that dying isn't a solution. Make her realize that you can fix everything in a short or large period of time.
I hope everything gets better.
Cheers,
Lana

Yes Lana I 'm new here....Thanks for responding

I have been diagnosed with DID in November and I go to therapy.

I'm not sure about a Gatekeeper? I have a an Overseer and 2 protectors who have been restraining her (not hurting her) to keep her from being upfront enough to take anything. I also gave all my dangerous meds to my roommate.

##TRIGGER ###
She wants to finish the job bc she feels she should have died and bc she didn't everyone else is hurting...she feels "responsible" for all the pain...it breaks my heart when she cries...I don't know what to tell her...she is so desperate. I see my T this week and hope she can help some.

I have a support system of friends who she or I can call if needed...
Its just so hard.
Thanks for caring enough to respond to us...

We're all sorts of mixed up, but glad to be back.

Galaxies! I'm so so so happy to see you

Depressed. School summer holidays are always a trigger. Hell, at least I'm aware of it this year

PS. I'm glad to see you too, Galaxies

@VanessaG - welcome I hope you're doing better today.