Our system (might trigger?)

Note by Chris: I added the "might trigger". I don't think this is a trigger warning but I'm afraid I'm wrong and you could get mad with Lana because of me.


Hi.
I'm going to try to explain you our system in this thread. For some reason, after writting it to our blog (it's not approved yet) I feel like if I miss something. I have the sensation that there are other alters I don't know, so I (or hopefully they) will add them(selves) here
I'm going to copy-paste from the blog, due to it's not approved yet, but I think a thread is better than a blog post though.

[ TOM ]
- Host. Male. Bisexual ("really" attracted to women, but sexually attracted for women and men).
- Age: 15, but he doesn't want to tell his age to anybody online because he is afraid everybody will think he is just seeking for attention.
- Diagnosed with: BPD, Cyclothymia. Unofficial diagnosis: DID
- About: He knows something is bad or something bad is happening but won't visit a doctor. In fact, he says he doesn't want to go to a psychiatryst or terapist for his BPD only because he refuses to tell anybody about his DID.
He isn't really able to have a serious relationship, specially with his father. Sometimes he's in love of him and some other times he isn't. He can only be angry when Christine allows him to. He can't feel anything but sadness and he always feels void.


[ LANA, formerly known as ELIZABETH ] (me )
- Female. Straight.
- Age: 26.
- About: She is the model of what Tom wold want to be. Tom feels OK being a male, but in his daydreams he is either me or Margaret. She is a modern girl, a rebel. Looks like Lana Del Rey. Alongside Margaret, he is the main alter to deal with relationships. She is also the "main" alter, like the administrator of the system. Doesn't feel love.

[ MARGARET ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: Unkown (she says you don't ask a woman for his age)
- About: She is also a model of what Tom would want to be. But, unlike Lana, she lives in the past. Sometimes her "world" is in the 1930s and other times it's in the 1960s, but it's always in New York. She is like one of those elegant women who appeared in cigarette advertising. She desperately needs a cigarette holder at the moment, she is telling me to, and I don't know where to buy it. Lana and Margaret are good friends, sometimes Lana remembers Margaret that she is living in a town and it's 2013, not 1930. She is OK with that, but of course prefers living her fantasy. The only alter who feels love besides Swag.

[ CHRIS ]
- Male. Straight. Christine's brother.
- Age: 13
- About: He deals with fear. He is afraid of "bad people" as The Brothers (Chris & Christine) told people who they think might hurt them. When Tom starts feeling like "everybody is juding me," Chris comes. He is in love with Christine.

[ CHRISTINE ]
- Female. Straight. Chris' brother.
- Age: 15
- About: She deals with rage. She tends to cut herself, but never with the intention of scaring Tom or any other alters. She always has an obssession with breaking windows, but she has never done it because she knows it would scare Tom. Since she deals with rage, she is the strongest alter. She protects his brother Chris. She also has a protective paternal feeling for all the system, specially with Tom. She thinks friendship doesn't exist and is afraid of the same things that her brother, but instead of reacting with fear she reacts with rage.

[ SWAG ]
- Male. Straight.
- Age: 14
- About: Not a real name, he hasn't said anything about his name yet but he likes being named "Swag". As you might guess he is the "cool" alter, dealing with all the "teen" problems including relationships. Tom is unable to deal with all those teenager things, so even though he is 14 he is considered an adult, whereas Swag is also 14 and can positively deal with those problems. He also feels love, the only alter besides Margaret who is able to.

[ MARILYN ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: Unknown.
- About: She plays the piano. All the alters do, but she is the only one who goes to piano class. Not much more besides that.

[ JUDIT ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: 15.
- About: I was missing her... Lol. She is a very beautiful girl. Her name is the same than the girl which Tom was in love with. Since Tom doesn't have that teenage love feeling anymore, Swag is in love with her now ("our" Judit, not the "real" Judit). She isn't in charge of any concrete feeling, she is just there and tends to come out in social occasions where girls are involved. She is also very interested in smoking and always talks in forums or chats where smoking is the topic.

[ BARBARA ]
- Female. Lesbian.
- Age: 25.
- About: The only alter who doesn't smoke. Very anti-smoking woman. She is constantly telling us to quit smoking, and some times Christine cuts herself to silence her. She is also a feminist activist and hates men.

[ MÍA ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: 50
- About: A teacher. Loves teaching. She teaches to our friends, by request. Not much more about her.

[ DON ]
- Male. Straight.
- Age: 34
- About: A man. He likes advertising. He is the happy alter alongside Swag.

[ ANNE ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: 44
- About: A photographer. Loves cats, likes dogs. A reflection of mom. Atheist.

[ PILAR ]
- Female. Straight.
- Age: 80
- About: A housekeeper. Catholic. A reflection of grandma (mom's mother). Everybody loves her. She died and it makes all of us cry but Pilar is still here to help us.

[ HILDEGARD a.k.a HILDE a.k.a HILDA ]
- Female. No sexual preferences yet.
- Age: 6
- About: A happy little girl. A reflection of Tom's father's mother, but unlike her she is still a little girl and won't age. She likes traveling and languages, specially German. She is a very clever little girl and learns German by herself with the help of some of the others, usually Pilar (the real Pilar was very good in languages too), because Pilar is the "good grandma" model (both real Pilar and Hilde are/were really good grandmas, we love/d them!).

[ OTHERS... ]
There might be other little alters without name or unknown yet. I'll add them here if we find out more alters.

For the colors, see our signature.
Cheers, Lana

Racheal: Hello. Welcome to the forum. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Racheal: Oh, I hope Tom is alright. About Judit's name, mines is also came from another person. Racheal, in real world, is Adam's "chess friend". She's really nice and positive girl. I'm just an alter who wants to make Adam happy. I'm the main protector here. Rana loves listening to music. I think she likes listening to piano music.

-- Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:49 pm --

Racheal: I just wanna say to Tom. Tom, you need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or something like that. DID is mostly miss-diagnosed as BPD and other mental disorders like Schizophrenia, Bipolar, other stuff that I don't know. You should find a psychologist. Adam also thought he's faking DID. He even tried to ignore us. Our psychiatrist gave us the meds but we don't know it will work or not. But I know it will work and I know it will solve some problems we're facing. You should find a psychologist to solve your problems. Okay, I'm rambling right now. Like I said before, find a psychologist or something to solve your problems or else it will get even worse.

AdamMZ wrote:Racheal: Hello. Welcome to the forum. I hope you enjoy your stay here.

Racheal: Oh, I hope Tom is alright. About Judit's name, mines is also came from another person. Racheal, in real world, is Adam's "chess friend". She's really nice and positive girl. I'm just an alter who wants to make Adam happy. I'm the main protector here. Rana loves listening to music. I think she likes listening to piano music.

-- Thu Jun 20, 2013 6:49 pm --

Racheal: I just wanna say to Tom. Tom, you need to see a psychologist or psychiatrist or something like that. DID is mostly miss-diagnosed as BPD and other mental disorders like Schizophrenia, Bipolar, other stuff that I don't know. You should find a psychologist. Adam also thought he's faking DID. He even tried to ignore us. Our psychiatrist gave us the meds but we don't know it will work or not. But I know it will work and I know it will solve some problems we're facing. You should find a psychologist to solve your problems. Okay, I'm rambling right now. Like I said before, find a psychologist or something to solve your problems or else it will get even worse.

Hi Racheal
Thanks for your welcome
Rana: do you like Lana Del Rey? As you can guess from our username and my very own name, we really do. Marilyn really loves playing the piano, too. Listen to Chopin Ballade nº1, too! We all play the piano but she is the "master", and the only one who's able to play that Ballade atm (we still have to learn it).
I really agree to what you said to Tom. But, how can I talk with him? I don't think he will even look at the forum. What if he does and sees all the activity we're doing here? He will get crazy. But perhaps that's the only way to let him now he has to see a doctor.
Cheers, Lana


Christine: But, if he goes to a therapist, we won't disappear or die, right? I like my life when there're no bad people around.

Racheal: Of course not, Christine. We haven't meet a therapist before but people here do and they still have their alters. I think the therapist gives some advice to each alters.
Rana: Hi! Sorry, I haven't heard her before. And actually, I'm... kinda like electronic music listener type of thing but I do like listen to piano stuff.
Racheal: I really want to help Tom but I just can't. None of us can't help him. Sorry.

AdamMZ wrote:Racheal: Of course not, Christine. We haven't meet a therapist before but people here do and they still have their alters. I think the therapist gives some advice to each alters.
Rana: Hi! Sorry, I haven't heard her before. And actually, I'm... kinda like electronic music listener type of thing but I do like listen to piano stuff.
Racheal: I really want to help Tom but I just can't. None of us can't help him. Sorry.

Thanks Rana and Racheal.
I know what you mean. We feel the same. We just want the best for him, we want him to stop pretending he is feigning DID. He feigns DID because mom never believed him when he said he felt bad (physically or mentally). But our mum is a very good person, we love her. But his dad isn't that good. His father wouldn't approve him to go to a therapist, so he says "i'm faking it" to feel better. Hopefully this forum will help a bit.
Cheers, Lana

Update (21/June/2013): I'm Cristina, I've came out for first time
A Note By Lana: In this post we will only add the alters that have took control at least once. Usually I don't know about them until they take control...
Also I think Cristina has been created to manage the "dinner conflict."

I hope you can find a doctor or a therapist to help you sort things out. I understand about your fears with your dad. When I was at school, the school organized a psychologist for me, without my parents needing to know. I don't know if your school can organize someone for you or if there is someone there you can talk to? Or could your mum help without your father getting involved? I think it might help you if someone outside your system believes in all of you and you have someone to help you deal with things.

Rubyscarlet wrote:I hope you can find a doctor or a therapist to help you sort things out. I understand about your fears with your dad. When I was at school, the school organized a psychologist for me, without my parents needing to know. I don't know if your school can organize someone for you or if there is someone there you can talk to? Or could your mum help without your father getting involved? I think it might help you if someone outside your system believes in all of you and you have someone to help you deal with things.

Well as I said it would be easier for Tom's dad to believe him, but since he's afraid of him it's easier to tell mom, but mom won't believe him... It's complicated, I think seeing the school counselor would be better. We'll have to wait 2 and a 1/5 months though.
Cheers Lana

That's good news. It's a while to wait but as long as you know you will have someone to help you when you go back to school, and in the meantime you can stay on this forum - it helps stop the denial taking hold if you are posting and reading here.

Rubyscarlet wrote:That's good news. It's a while to wait but as long as you know you will have someone to help you when you go back to school, and in the meantime you can stay on this forum - it helps stop the denial taking hold if you are posting and reading here.

Yes
Now I've noticed all of the alters including Tom seem to have GAD —Generalized anxiety disorder. That could be a reason for our insomnia...