How are you today thread (trigger warning)

ViTheta wrote:
Oh, and I've seen 'blending' come up a few times and I don't understand that.

Hope everyone's day goes well
Vi

For us, 'blending' is one of the changelings special skills. Because they are non-human/spirit entities they cannot host the body alone but if they blend with a human alter they can be up front and experience things as their host experiences them. It's more than just being 'in the background'..for us anyway...being in the background means being in the other room at the back.

Myself blending with Juno means I have all her knowledge, memories, experience of her past life..some things I know how to do automatically when Juno is blended with me but if she isn't I don't know how to do it.

It is also a temporary thing for us because when we both go inside we can separate again and Juno has her own body on the inside. Other systems may have a different meaning for it.

TheTriForce wrote: For us, 'blending' is one of the changelings special skills. Because they are non-human/spirit entities they cannot host the body alone but if they blend with a human alter they can be up front and experience things as their host experiences them. It's more than just being 'in the background'..for us anyway...being in the background means being in the other room at the back.

Myself blending with Juno means I have all her knowledge, memories, experience of her past life..some things I know how to do automatically when Juno is blended with me but if she isn't I don't know how to do it.

It is also a temporary thing for us because when we both go inside we can separate again and Juno has her own body on the inside. Other systems may have a different meaning for it.

Thank you for explaining. It's kind of like how me and Pippa co-front. When she's here with me, she can tell me what to do and I can 'feel' and sometimes 'see' her memories, but when she is in the inner world, I can't access anything of hers. With us, it's more like a conversation and trying to do things at a distance.

As an example, we both play Monster Hunter World, but we play it differently. When I try to play her style alone, I fail miserably, and the same holds true for her. However, I can somewhat play her style when she's here but doesn't want to play or I've had to take over because she's triggered.

Sometimes I also 'transcribe' what the others are saying so we can have a conversation since it seems like I can 'hear' them, but they can't 'hear' me, but they can see what I see if they're close to the surface.

The hardest part for me right now is all the voices. I don't understand everyone's voices and it gets overwhelming some days.

ViTheta wrote:. I'm a bit sad that Kit took things a little hard while trying to talk to everyone here.

Vi

oh..and regarding Kit....The system feels she is just not ready yet and still has more healing to do. She was doing better inside with Jody blended within her to heal her, but it seems she struggled more once they separated and Kit came to the front alone. I guess it was too soon?

We (myself and Lee) must take some responsibility too as we stayed in the holosuite's doing our own thing despite Kit being out alone and in a lot of pain and barely any sleep..(sciatica pain is awful I don't know if you've ever experienced it?) we didn't make allowances for the fact she may not have fully recovered and not felt as strong as she used to be..we have apologised

EDITED TO ADD; ..yes we can do similar but for us 'blending' is like Juno physically entered my body before we came out front and is physically within it ...when we go back 'inside' she separates from me and I see 'my identical twin' in physical form.

Fusion for us would mean we were permanently blended and could not seperate, we have agreed we would only do this if we knew the physical body was dying (eg if we got terminal cancer in the future or something) then we pass into the next world fused..it is our religious belief we would then be reborn as identical twins in the next life (each with our own physical body!. ..Juno has memories we were identical twins in a past life but got seperated)

Your blending sounds almost like The Great Link in ST: Deep Space Nine where the Changelings can join together, share things but are still separate.

For us demonics in this system, it's more akin to telepathic and empathic sharing. It can make it hard for us to not share when things feel bad. Though, thinking about it, it may explain why it's easier to bring other demonics to the front than it is to bring the fae forward.

I hope your day has gone well and I hope Kit gets better.

I also understand about the whole 'twin' thing. Marcus has been part of our system for so long we've sometimes wondered if he was supposed to be our twin brother but he never developed and we got stuck in the same body.

ViTheta wrote:Your blending sounds almost like The Great Link in ST: Deep Space Nine where the Changelings can join together, share things but are still separate.

I also understand about the whole 'twin' thing. Marcus has been part of our system for so long we've sometimes wondered if he was supposed to be our twin brother but he never developed and we got stuck in the same body.

[LEE} ...yes it is similar to the changeling blending ability in Star Trek. I am also a huge Trekkie fan!! However our changelings first existed with me as a child way back in the early 70's before 'Deep Space Nine' existed on TV! (1993)..although the original series was about back then. (first televised 1966-1969, in the US but was re-shown on our countries TV when I was about 5 and first saw it).

Yuna did not watch that series originally so had no clue what you were talking about! she was like..uuuhh??

Anyway I come to say good-bye, I don't know how long for....Kit needs to return to the inner world to fully recover and as she has been my carer and voice for many years (when I was non-verbal child Bobby) I feel strongly it is my duty to help her in return so I will be returning with her. I also need to rebuild my relationship with little Susie and Phoenix who I spent my childhood with (again as Child Bobby originally).

Yuna & Juno will be staying as the bodies full time host. I told her she can keep the name 'Yuna-lee' as their 'blended name' ..I chose it because it has the letters from our mothers real name who 'Juno' represents anyway. They will need to be blended as one to front so the name is still appropriate.

I may change my name back to Bobby inside or 'Bobby-lee' (although stay older) to help LS and Phoenix. I will be able to age-slide once back inside so can present younger for them temporarily to realise its 'still me'...as they age, recover and understand better I can return back to this adult form.

Kit and I were going to swap out with Jody & Sioux who have been on here before but LS see's them as her 'inside carers' and has already been upset by all the change this last year so they didn't wish to create more instability for her by leaving as they live in the same house on the inside. Maybe when LS has reached an older age (she is currently only 4) they may come out to visit or Kit and I may return at a later stage ...maybe briefly to give Yuna & Juno a break at some point in the future.

so bye from myself & Kit..I'll hand you back to Yuna-lee!

Goodbye Lee. I hope you and Kit will be back one day.

Today has been quiet. A person I know has kind of been pushing me to spend time with them, but I made it clear that they couldn't manipulate me into doing what they wanted, so they seem to have decided to leave me alone. I got some more work done on my novel. Beyond that, feeling quiet.

ViTheta wrote:Goodbye Lee. I hope you and Kit will be back one day.

Today has been quiet. A person I know has kind of been pushing me to spend time with them, but I made it clear that they couldn't manipulate me into doing what they wanted, so they seem to have decided to leave me alone. I got some more work done on my novel. Beyond that, feeling quiet.

Glad you were able to do what you felt you wanted to do.

Kit/Lee will be visiting,it's just a trial for now... They will come back to visit for Mr Woof's birthday in a couple of weeks and see how Kit feels after a 2 week holiday.

We have been so disorganised and struggled to organise ourselves though and Little Susie has shown us we really need more stability in the system..so we will go back to just me and Juno hosting as
' Yuna-Lee' daily as we had to after the stroke and see how we go. It's been a difficult and emotionally exhausting year for us all.

I am glad that they will come back out from time to time. I can understand the need to have order and stability in the system, and I hope that this helps a lot.

We're still working on stability ourselves I get a feeling that some of us are shifting to make things easier for the system. I found myself referring to Angel as 'she' lately marking a shift that I had not expected quite so soon, and Queen may be shifting as well as our inner world has stabilized into what it is now.

I hope things go well
-Vi

ViTheta wrote:
As an example, we both play Monster Hunter World, but we play it differently. When I try to play her style alone, I fail miserably, and the same holds true for her. However, I can somewhat play her style when she's here but doesn't want to play or I've had to take over because she's triggered.

Sometimes I also 'transcribe' what the others are saying so we can have a conversation since it seems like I can 'hear' them, but they can't 'hear' me, but they can see what I see if they're close to the surface.

The hardest part for me right now is all the voices. I don't understand everyone's voices and it gets overwhelming some days.

I forgot to come back to this I wanted to say about the gaming it is the same for us too. Kit and child Bobby were by far the best gamers of our system especially pre-stroke.

After the body was left affected more we could do less but still once we recovered to a certain point and they were able to front again, they were again able to progress much faster so overall our balance/co-ordination & fine motor skills started to increase at a quicker rate and we achieved more in physio.

Juno and I are still not really into combat and building as much as they are however we have found it much easier to control characters or complete puzzles in games we have wanted to play.

I (alone) struggled to do my own signature when I first came out hospital, not because I couldn't remember it but because I struggled to keep grip of a pen without it triggering an 'intention tremor'. With Kit and Lee coming out to game and starting to handwrite notes in a book about Tips for the Stardew Valley game. I find I can once again handwrite.

So in some ways finding the others and them coming in and out accelerated our physical progress though we got exhausted quickly. The system seems to have made it so we have not lost these skills just because the others have left the front In the past we had a situation where one was unable to walk but others could when they came out, one was deaf, others were hearing, some could speak better than others. The rewiring of pathways seems to have changed this.

p.s I am not sure about the voices issue, we have lost hearing after the stroke and hear mostly Tinnitus unless have hearing aids in so external sounds drown it out. Our insiders communicate via telepathy with their changeling and the changelings pass messages along. eg if Kit inside wants to send me a message she does it via a changeling on the inside who sends it to Juno, when Juno is blended with me I receive it as a thought but know it is 'Kit's thought/message to me'..my thought in response gets instantly relayed back via Juno. If Kit's changeling is within her inside she receives it as a thought also if they are seperate bodies but doing something together they will tell her verbally, if they are in different parts of the inner world she will receive the message like 'an internal SMS'.

I am glad they left you more games to help your body heal. Beth has to come forward today and help with exercise and chores. It sometimes feels weird that Beth seems to handle weight and lifting better than I do and Pippa is better with her hand/eye coordination.

I was talking about the inner voices. The voices of all of us. We've been dealing with someone who has been eating up my time and stressing not just me but the whole system to such a point that having alters come forward was becoming a problem. They started trying to manipulate us. But what happened was they went too far and started implying that we're faking DID.

The upset was causing me to dissociate more. Their actions meant that Pippa didn't come forward enough to watch her favorite artist do her livestreams the last two weeks. Everyone was angry and I could hear some of their voices clearly while other times it was a mess of overlapping arguing.

Last night, I talked to one of my best friends about it and I'm aware that Pippa talked to our other best friend about it. I know that they both agreed that we should just cut this person from our life so we're doing that.