Let me tell you, the one six-point I have been begged to drink so I could calm down just doesn't seem to cut it. Why am I withdrawing you ask? It's because my psychiatrist has decided to give thanks without writing my refill. I do what he asks. I ask for a refill on the day he tells me. There is just no doing it right with him. This is the second month in a row he has done this to me. Last month it was drill, this month it was an early vacation. Sure everything is fine after I get on meds again but what about these excruciating short weekends?

Just in case anyone is wondering, I've been on adderall since 5th grade minus the four years I was married. I'm 25 so thats about 11 years. I know the drill. I know my heart could explode any second. I know it's bad for me and I have spent quite a bit of time without it. I can't remember any of that time...it just comes with the territory. I am worthless without it.

So here is how withdrawl goes. First day, (even after you try your hardest to step down), you talk funny. Then at night, the paranoia hits. Keep the lights on and provide some background noise. You will want to eat everything in sight. I combat this with fenugreek. It's a over the counter appetite suppressant that just does the trick. I take two in the morning and two in the evening. I also take St. Johns wort daily to combat the blues and just double the dose when I withdrawl. At night, be prepared for the shakes. I drink a beer OR take a muscle relaxant. You can also take a bath in Epsom salt. I used to take antihistamines for the itching but now I just take them so I can sleep. I'm so opiate naive that even benadryl knocks me out.

Withdrawal is best done on a weekend or weekday when you have the least amount of responsibility. You have to step down or else its impossible to stay awake. I used to be stupid and not step down. When this happened the routine was the same but the side effects are amplified like a thousand times. Not to mention the first day feels like it lasts a week. Coffee, caffeine, and anything else stimulating is your friend.

Step three, getting back on meds. Once you get your refill, DO NOT GET BACK ON YOUR NORMAL DOSE! Work your way back up to it or you will be spending the rest of your month feeling like your current dose isn't enough, so you'll gobble them up and then it will be your fault you are out of pills not your doctors. Sure you'll feel great the first day but is it really worth it?

I am one of the few people left on the planet who know that a lot of people ruin it for everybody. Everybody on adderall isn't abusing it or an addict. Stuff happens and good people like us run out. That doesn't make you a bad person. What does make you a bad person is taking more than perscribed, selling or giving away your pills, stashing pilling or not sticking to your treatment plan. You people ruin it for us. You people need more help than what you are asking for. You need rehabilitation and counseling.

Ok. I feel better now. I heart blogging!