Today was okay... kinda...

The school part was fine. The calc test didn't seem to difficult, and I think it is possible that I made an A on it, but I can't really be sure because I could have made a lot of stupid mistakes. I know I made one mistake already. The problem was "lim as a->0 of (√ (a+1)-1)/a" It should have been simple. I even got it to "1/(√ (a+1)+1) and then wrote that it was undefined because I somehow was subtracting the one outside the radical, and I thought that it would add to be zero. It just really pisses me off to no end. I don't know, it has been bugging me all day.

I didn't do much in lit, and in chem we had a review type of thing, and I got the answers right, except I messed up on significant figures on a few of them because I was thinking that Avogadro's number was precise, but looking back on it, that is kinda a silly assumption because it is so unlikely that anything would have 21 0s in a row if it was not defined arbitrarily. I did get the extra credit, though. Most of the class got it, and it was a nice relief from the calculus mistake.

Compsci was good, though. It actually started off kinda bad because she asked how many of us had started on the homework, and then scolded those of us who hadn't, saying if we didn't care we should just drop the class and not even wait until midterm, and spare her and the rest of the class the resources. So, I felt bad for not starting on that. Then she gave us a pop-quiz (but not for a grade, just for self assessment), and I made in the well-above-average range, so I felt kinda good about that. Still not as well as I would have liked to do. I made 7/10, but only a few people raised their hands for 5/10 or above, and the people behind me (we passed the papers up) made 2/10 and 3/10. I am sure there were a few people who made perfect on it, but I am happy with my 7/10. It can make up for math.

Then when I got home, I saw my senior pictures. I hate pictures already, but my god. I really hate those pictures. It makes me sick just to look at them. I hate the smile. It didn't even look natural at all. It looked like my smile was too big or something, I don't know, I hate it. When I saw them, I actually felt physically SICK. Not in a metaphorical way of feeling sick. I felt dizzy and wanted to throw up, and there was a huge buzz in my head, and I almost felt like crying. I don't know. I don't have the words to express my hate towards the pictures. I just absolutely hate them with all my hate that is possible. So, I just took some lemon balm and a ton of L-theanine. Maybe I can relax now. I have been tense for about an hour now, but it is starting to go away some as the pills are kicking in.

It sounds like overall your day was a success academically. I always liked being able to compare yourself to others in your class because it gives you a more realistic idea of how you are doing (even though people say you should just worry about you and not compare yourself to everyone else). If everyone else got 10/10 on the compsci pop-quiz it would be a sign that you need to study more, but when your 7/10 is above average it is validation of your knowledge and understanding of the course.

And I agree about hating pictures! This thread has some good advice: http://www.psychforums.com/avoidant-personality/topic94296.html

I agree. It is nice to know how you are doing so that you can change things before it is too late.

Thanks for sharing the thread. It was a good read.