I don't care about this family. How they feel about me makes no difference at all. I'm sick of being stuck in this dump, and I am not saying that in any form of a joking manner, this place sucks. I want to move far away and never be in any contact with my family again.

About 3 and a half years ago, if my memory is correct (as I have to say yet again...), I was prescribed Bupropion and Venlafaxine. I didn't go to there out of my own free will, I didn't want to get on meds, and I didn't choose those two in particular. The psychiatrist(s) and/or whoever it was who worked at what-exactly-ever place that was (I don't know much about the system because I couldn't care any less about it) decided, after what was definitely anything but an extensive and thorough conclusion, that those meds, completely worthless as they turned out to be, were appropriate for me. In a period of one month, my weight spiked up by about 25 pounds, 11.34 kilograms. I did not make any changes to my diet or activity habits, and I was at a healthy weight to begin with, probably actually a bit on the lower side. There was an occasion at some point where I asked a certain pdoc about the weight gain. He said, unspecifically, that one of the meds had a slight potential weight gain effect, but that the other had an adverse effect that would counter it. That was absolute crap. I've lost about 40 pounds, 18-ish kilograms since quitting the meds back in the Spring, putting me at less than I was before. All the while, I was living on dinner and random snacks, with the exception of possible breakfast on weekends or something here and there. I was also prescribed Aripiprazole at some point, forgive me for being awful at remembering the times of past events. Let me tell you how these affected me. They made my mood swings even worse, made me gain weight that was very much unwanted, and made me very irritable all the time, and I got pissed off at the slightest things. My brother used to be on those meds as well, back when he was about 13 to 16, except for Lisdexamfetamine instead of Aripiprazole. He had outright terrible fits of aggression. Coincidence? No, it's just not. I'm not even gonna give consideration to that, it's just not. So....why didn't I just quit taking the meds a lot sooner? Because of other stupid ass #######4 reasons I won't explain. Oh man, I sound like some kind of unrespectable grouch, don't I? I would hate to be that, it's not what I want at all, and I mean at all. But what are some better things I have to talk about? Lets see........a lot of nothing.

There's no chance in hell I'm ever going back through that, with any medication.

Here's the reason why I quit online gaming last Summer. There's probably few here who are or ever were into it, so I'm sure this won't be much of anyone's interest, but that's A-OK. I quit mainly because of the awful community. It's not that I would expect much maturity from those near and within the ages of 10 to 15, but anyone who lacks basic sportsmanship, regardless of age, should just get a grip on self-control before getting involved in anything competitive. I am, and for quite some time have been so sick of hearing about how anyone legally deemed a "minor" is a "child," and isn't fully responsible for their own actions because "they don't know any better." Here's a very, very ugly example of this: The name lapses my memory, but awhile back, there was a 17 year old who was convicted for killing four people in an auto accident while driving under the influence. Being from a rich family, they were able to afford a skilled (conniving) lawyer to defend him, and that particular lawyer claimed that his client was "too spoiled to be responsible for his actions," (using some formal term that I'm also unable to recall, excuse my swiss cheese memory) and I shall also add that the world renowned pot-stirrers we call the media referred to him as a "child." A bunch of #######4.

Okay, I got waaaaaaaay sidetracked there. I also quit because I figured it's about time for me to focus my attention to real life stuff, being nearly 20 now. I only ever got into it because it gave me a tiny little bit of entertainment in a life so unfulfilling.

Having read some others' stories, I believe I've come to realize something. My problems aren't that big of a deal. Before joining this site, I thought having multiple diagnoses made me extremely unlucky, but looking around, there are many people who have it much worse than me. Abuse, childhood neglect, being crapped on by the people around you.....I haven't been there. I mean, there were some <derogatory term>'s who picked on me in school, particularly in middle school. Trying to look like bad asses to make up for the fact that they weren't, and succeeding only in looking like <derogatory term>'s, might I add. But I really don't have it that bad after all.

productive

I just don't know right now. I quit online gaming back in July and won't be getting back into it for at least a couple of years, if ever. Leaning toward never. Haven't touched offline gaming since then either. I had a Steam account; for those of you who haven't heard of it, it's an online PC gaming community platform that you download, lets you buy stuff, add friends, post screenshots and what-not. Some games require it . Registered May 7th, 2008, "resigned" 8 years later.

Now I spend a lot of time watching Youtube videos. Had thoughts about defecting to Vimeo or something because of Google trying to monopolize the internet (I mean really, the semi-new demonetization policy, FU Google), but I've been using it for so long and have grown so accustomed to it, I just can't let it go. I need to get a hobby.